<object width="640" height="390"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/-b5aW08ivHU&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/-b5aW08ivHU&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="390"></embed></object>

Well at least it wasn't scary music...

I'm wondering if one of the day people is ****ing with me?
If so I'm gonna kill the bastards, shit is freaking me out. I keep seeing shit out of the corner of my eye on the security cams :banghead:

stop smoking dope

:thumb:


I did, maybe I need to start? :hmmm:

Sure would like to know Colonel Sanders secret recipe. :hmmm:

IT'S PEOPLE!!!! /Charlton Heston

I was just sexually harassed by a gothic bitch at quicktrip.

That's the best you can get. You had better hit it while you can.

I'll pass.

A fat chick sat in front of me at the Cardinals game.

Same thing, except the one at the convenience store was Emo. :p

That's pretty shatty of her.

Some of my IRL friends are ****ing pussies. They need to man the **** up.
Posted via Mobile Device

Details man, we need details :harumph:

On a side note, I ****ing hate heartburn :banghead::banghead:

When I get rich, I'm going to hire a poor Chinese man to strike a gong everytime I orgasm.

what is the going rate on this once a year phenomenon?

$20 a pop.
Posted via Mobile Device

1 cup of coffee + 1/2 packet of hot chocolate mix + 1 French vanilla creamer = YUM!

It kills me when I disappoint her.

Absolutely kills me. I don't know why that part of my brain just won't work right.

Well on the flip side to this, it wasn't heart burn :huh:

?
From the sound of it, I doubt you're alone.

So I have a philisophical question. If I fart, and it makes no sound and has no smell, was it really even a fart? And if the fart is not real, am I truly real, or an echo of quantum physics? Just one possibility in an infinite number of possibilities? And if so, does that make my non fart really black matter? Is my non fart the very glue the universe is made of? What holds it all together? And if it is, does that make this whole universe just a bunch of shit?

Gonna poop in my neighbors yard tonight

Gonna poop in my neighbors mouth tonight

Damn, I thought I was being original.

Only if the fart had substance.

Talk to me KS Smitty. Are you drinking tonight?

Doesn't that void the rules about black matter? Its like pure gravity. It can pass through matter unaffected and unnoticed but its gravity holds the universe together...

What's that got to do with anything? :hmmm:

I thought this was a philosophical question not a "physic"sophical question.

It was a ****ing question. I was trying to make small talk and you had to counter me with a question. Now I'm all McButthurt and I'm going to bed. **** you.

Well....wah wah wah. But if it makes you feel better, yes I'm drinking tonite how 'bout you?

I dunno. Without the cosmic physics, how can we glimpse true philosophy or the hand of god, if he still lives.

Besides, I'm drinking tonight, even if you arent

Why yes I am. Thanks for asking!

you love me cause im so crazy
youll see
itll be
you and me
always

You shouldn't be able to refresh the legendary 10pm thread a hundred times without seeing a new post. You ****ing losers lost your burst.

shirtsleeve, I too am drinking tonite. As to your other comment I am not versed in physics so what I believe is mostly based on faith (not necessarily of the biblical variety).

:shrug:

At this point I blame the meds.....:drool:

I just saw that shit on a late night science show at work last weekend.

Just talking out of my ass again...o:-)

:spock:

Yo yo my name is joe
i gots a story to tell
but you probably should know
that i stole your mail
and im going to jail
but this jail is a wreck
feel like im in heck
all because i stole your welfare check

You do realize that I was still in my 30s when this thread was started? I'm an old man now.

Vibrators are a man's best friend. Bless 'em they save us so much of the work.

That's why I stay off your lawn.

You nasty sick perverted man.

I'm "home alone" and... it's awesome! I can do all sorts of things...

"R" rated movies without headphones (or even on the big TV!), pron (there goes about 10 minutes), walk around nekkid (gets boring fast, and even I don't wanna see that.)

Anyway, it's eerily quiet around here.

Man I can't wait until my house is like that. I love my son dearly, but I am soooo ready for life after kids.

I love being home alone. I do crazy things like wear a Nixon mask and blow kisses to the computer screen with Trent Green on it.

You say that, once again, like its a bad thing...

What happened to your kids and wife?

Update!

pr0n (there goes about another 10 minutes)

I'm kidding... really. This was more like 15.

You didn't use Dove shampoo, did you?

Heheh. All kidding aside, I'm divorced and have custody of my two boys. They're 14 and 12 now. They go to "mom's" every other weekend. This is one of those weekends.

Oh.

Well, since you're alone, you could pull off a nasty prank.

I'm assuming you ordered a hannah montana doll for the weekend?

And here I was going to suggest someone start digging up your back yard...

You sound as if you have something in mind...

I used herbal essences. I still have that feeling...

RED BARON Special Deluxe Pizza, Two Cheeses, Sausage, Pepperoni & Onions, frozen
Nutrition Facts
Serving Size

Amount per Serving
Calories 261 kcal
% Daily Value
Total Fat 13.80 g 22%
Saturated Fat 4.860 g 25%
Polyunsaturated Fat 5.350 g
Monounsaturated Fat 1.760 g
Cholesterol 19 mg 7%
Sodium 546 mg 23%
Total Carbohydrates 24.80 g 9%
Dietary Fiber 0%
Sugars
Protein 9.30 g %
Recommended Daily Allowances
Calories 2000 2500
Total Fat Less than 65g 80g
Sat Fat Less than 20g 25g
Cholesterol Less than 300mg 300mg
Sodium Less than 2400mg 2400mg
Total Carbohydrate 300g 375g
Dietary Fiber 25g 30g

What?... I don't even...

I do, but if I posted what I had in mind everyone would be like "WTF" and "Why in the world would he think of something like that?"

For the first prank, change the codes for locks or passwords at your house for no reason.

I'm a single dad with two kids. There are no codes..lol Just a key.

Kellogg's® Pop-Tarts® Frosted Chocolate Chip toaster pastries

Where to Buy
Nutrition Facts
http://www2.kelloggs.com/ServeImage....1f7d1625&w=600


Chocolate chips baked into a cookie crust that's drizzled with chocolatey icing and filled with chocolate flavored goodness. Grab a tall glass of milk and dunk away.
View available sizes. 12 ct, 8 ct, 2 ct, 2 ct, 16 ct Ingredients

ENRICHED FLOUR (WHEAT FLOUR, NIACIN, REDUCED IRON, THIAMIN MONONITRATE [VITAMIN B1], RIBOFLAVIN [VITAMIN B2], FOLIC ACID), SUGAR, SOYBEAN AND PALM OIL (WITH TBHQ FOR FRESHNESS), DEXTROSE, HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP, CRACKER MEAL, CORN SYRUP, WHEY, CONTAINS TWO PERCENT OR LESS OF SEMI SWEET CHOCOLATE CHIPS (SUGAR, CHOCOLATE, COCOA BUTTER, DEXTROSE, SOY LECITHIN), MILK CHOCOLATE (SUGAR, CHOCOLATE, COCOA BUTTER, MILK), COCOA (PROCESSED WITH ALKALI), MOLASSES, SALT, WHEAT STARCH, CALCIUM CARBONATE, LEAVENING (BAKING SODA, SODIUM ALUMINUM PHOSPHATE), NONFAT MILK, NATURAL AND ARTIFICIAL FLAVORS, CARAMEL COLOR, VANILLA EXTRACT, EGG WHITES, SOY LECITHIN, GELATIN, MONO-AND DIGLYCERIDES, XANTHAN GUM, SODIUM STEAROYL LACTYLATE, DATEM, YELLOW #5 LAKE, RED #40 LAKE, BLUE #2 LAKE, VITAMIN A PALMITATE, YELLOW #6 LAKE, NIACINAMIDE, REDUCED IRON, PYRIDOXINE HYDROCHLORIDE (VITAMIN B6), RIBOFLAVIN (VITAMIN B2), THIAMIN HYDROCHLORIDE (VITAMIN B1), FOLIC ACID.
Allergens

CONTAINS WHEAT, MILK, EGG AND SOY INGREDIENTS.
Dietary Exchange Per Serving

2 1/2 Carbohydrates, 1 Fat
Kosher Status

Not Certified
Preparation Instructons

KELLOGG'S® POP-TARTS® are fully baked and ready-to-eat right from the pouch. If you prefer them warmed, please follow these instructions. Toasting appliance and microwave capabilities differ by manufacturer. Follow the manufacturer's guidelines for safe use. Be sure your appliance is clean and functioning correctly. Children should always be closely supervised when operating toasting appliances and microwaves.

Due to possible risk of fire, never leave your toasting appliance or microwave unattended.

No Refrigeration Needed

POP-TARTS® TOASTING INSTRUCTIONS 1. Remove pastry from pouch. 2. Warm pastry in toasting appliance at lowest or lightest heat setting for one heating cycle only. 3. Cool briefly before carefully removing pastry from toasting appliance.

POP-TARTS® MICROWAVE INSTRUCTIONS 1. Remove pastry from pouch. Place pastry on a microwave-safe plate. 2. Microwave on high for 3 seconds. 3. Cool briefly before handling.

If pastry is overheated, frosting/filling can become extremely hot and could cause burns.

Time to change the locks.

Just for the record, you all are a bunch of dirty, dirty whores.

And my cat says hi.

Hi cat. Do I know you?

My cat says hi back...

My dog would like to kill your cat.

I am such a n00b. I thought Da Face was trying to hook us up. My bad. So he's not a pimp?

I just realized... I am drunk as shit. All it took, was getting up to get another beer.

(I'm excellent at drunken typing.)

I'm about a 6 on a scale of 1 to 10. I'm a pretty tame drunk.

I'm a happy drunk. (thankfully) And a generous one... I start buying drinks for all my buddies, because I want them to be having "THIS MUCH FUN"

Then I wake up, look in my wallet, and wonder WTF happened.

VERY relaxed here....thanks to the Dr.

Supposed to be a stress free weekend & lots of rest, so I am complying:drool:

The drunk is strong with this one.

:shrug:

Again I blame the Dr for the meds

If you're gonna do it, be a pro, I guess.

I'm too much of a cheap bastard for that. I despise the prices you have to pay for booze at either bars or restaurants.

Craig is on!

DaFace, I politely and very seriously ask to be banned until May 7th, 2011.