Lmao. All Missouri strip clubs suck now you have to hit up Lawrence to get your moneys worth.

Shoot me a pm next time you're in town.

I sometimes wonder if you're actually this... Well... Um.. I-don't-even-know-if-the-word-exists, in real life. In my 23 years I've never met someone so juvenile and it just makes me wonder..

But you're stories are always so consistent. Must be true.

Will do. I ain't riding to Lawrence after getting smashed though.

Ill just go back to my room and ride the missus.
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LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO I'm in tears laughing so hard. Wtf man?

Sounds like you look like a string bean pussy being that tall and that light.

Good thing people probably see how ****ing crazy you are within seconds of meeting you or your ass would be beaten into a bloody pulp on a consistent basis.

spoken like a true meathead brah

I'm not much of a meat head, but if you pulled that shit on any of my (or most of my friends') gfs or wife, then you would have gotten smashed, pants off or on.

fighting is cool bro!

gotta show everyone you're a MAN

Wrong. It's more of punishing the other person for crossing the line.

Dude, you drink daquiris to recover from a hangover? That shit would give me massive heartburn after a drinking session the night before.

KC native and Crazycoffey love bud light.

Old Westport had lots of good times there in college. Nothing like being drunk and being the only two white dudes who stumbled into America's Pub. That oh shit moment that happens in life. LMAO

Normally meet chicks at Kelly's then bounce over to Buzzard Beach I think is the name of that dance club across there, then back to Kellys to end the night.

Bud light ain't so bad when you're hammered already.

I never drink a daiquiri.

I just call everything with alcohol daiquiris.

DAIQUIRIS!

Shit I used to head straight to America's pub. It was ****ing great.

Me and the wife would dance our asses off.
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What do you think of the song "Red Solo Cup?"

LMAO I hate Toby Keith.

I am pointing out the fact that you think you look tough.

You can lift weights and be smart. How weird. Even though you think only Doctors should have advanced degrees. Maybe I should just give mine back?

But yea, I have had friends like you. Most of them were rarely threatened for their antics, especially when a bunch of us were together. It is pretty amazing what people will put up with in public settings! ROFL

LMAO Nice.

My favorite Westport story was meeting a Chiefs cheerleader and getting head from her in the parking lot behind Beaumont Club. It was a night before a game, me and my buddy met her and her friend at Kelly's, we go dancing. Good lord those chicks can dance and shake their ass. And they don't look as bad as they do at the games or on the website either. Its getting close to 1 and she says I can't go back to your place she has to be at Arrowhead real early. Go to her car and get a little bj action. Then she was the featured Chiefs cheerleader for that game. I think I had the biggest smile on my face ever at a Chiefs game. Damn to be back in college again.

LMAO I see.

ROFL I have never liked bud light. Try again dipshit.

My guess is that the most egregious pranks on unsuspecting females occur when they are stag, without boyfriends, or in social groups with men. In other words, when there's almost no risk.

Because, yeah, I'm not a tank or anything but I would certainly have serious ****ing issues with somebody harassing my lady in public. And I'm actually really, really mild mannered.

I have little reason to believe hardly anything Hootie's testifying, but if he's punking women in bars, it's probably the socially vulnerable ones, not the ones with guys worth their salt.

Still a pretty entertaining read, though. I honestly wonder if I wanted to take a guy out, if him depantsing himself would stop me. It actually probably would.

bud light is piss water.

CrazyCoffey would not hesitate to commit assault. He dreams of such moments.

1 for 1

!

Yes, but when you are hammered it doesn't really matter now does it?

Yes it does. Piss water is piss water at any time.

K

I could see Hootie doing these things. Knew a few of these types in college.

Usually the most lied about thing is how drunk they were. Most of these types would do this shit near sober, Hootie included. ROFL

Fantastic read here on a Sunday.

I was reading this "How To" book at Barnes & Noble a year or two ago, because it looked like a breezey novelty read about all kinds of interesting stuff.

One was "how to fight" -- shit you not. There was a book, or at least a novelty book, attempting to teach people how to fight.

The first step, of course, was avoid at all costs blah blah blah. The second step, before the actual fighting, was to slap your opponent with a firm, open palm in the face when he first approaches you. LMAO Not violently, just enough to get their attention.

The idea, of course, is to confuse him and weird him out so that it diffuses the situation.

I instantly knew that was bullshit, even though I've never been in a physical fight in my adult life. That shit will only piss off like 99% of the people you're fighting, myself included.

But the depantsing move... sounds like that move has the spirit of the slap idea, and might actually work.

this

don't know what to tell you

I am completely normal when I'm sober, and would be incapable of doing anything like that.

On a side note:

I think "diffuse" could work in this situation, but do you think "defuse" would be a better fit?

Drinking alcohol only removes inhibitions. If you do shit like that after a few daiquiris, I'd say you're a pretty weird dude. You're just good at masking your weirdness.

I will tell you that if I'm coming at you, start throwing punches. Don't slap me.
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Cactus Cafe was the dance club its now a piano bar.

Ive had some luck meeting women at the foundry. Check it out if you're ever down there.

Tombstone style

He bitched slaps the pharaoh dealer then runs him out the bar. Worked for Earp

It's still childish macho bullshit. Are you 12?

Not this crazycoffey.

Crazy bar story:

I'm shitting in a bar bathroom right now.

The End.

Where does babby come from? Post a pic.

Do you guys know why they developed BudLight in the first place?

People are afraid to mess with you because they think you know karate.

Bud light isn't half bad

I didn't know I was pragnent :(

Sumo. He knows Sumo.

Dinny

You have a point. It's ALL bad. Try real beer and you'll never drink that swill again.

Yup. That's not even close to true that a mixed drink is only 1 beer.

x infinity. I have no idea how in the world I ever drank that shit when I was younger.

"Buzzard Beach I think is the name of that dance club" is so NOT a dance club.

I'm a huge fan of Belgiums. However sometimes I want to get drunk its easier and cheaper to put away budlight.

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Well, this is highly unflattering turn of events.

I'm old enough to remember when everyone drank crappy domestic beer like Bud and Miller's, and if you wanted a premium beer your choice was Michelob. But everyone thought you were a snob.

I'm glad those days are gone. Except when I go visit my sister in the Ozarks. The bars she goes to have Bud, Miller's and Coors, and the light versions of the same, along with even crappier beer like Natural Light, with - you guessed it - Michelob as the only "premium" beer. My cell phone doesn't work there either. It's like taking a time machine to the 70s. :banghead:

Metal underwear. Metal underwear should be your friend on those trips to the Ozarks.

Guys that talk about how much game they have are like guys that talk about how much money they have. The ones that really have it don't brag about it.

Hell if it's a cheap and easy way to get drunk you seek, then why not grab a gallon of McCormacks vodka? It'll do the trick.

Coors is seriously the only beer I cannot stomach. One drink=a hurl.

It's ok as long as I don't hear banjo music.....

Of the cheap domestic beers it is the only one I'll drink (unless someone gives me a free one, then I'll drink anything - gotta be polite...:) ). I think Bud tastes like shit, and all Millers products give me a headache after one beer. I'm not sure what they put in that shit, but my head doesn't like it whatever it is.

Where are you getting Coors that it is cheap. I picked up a 12 for a buddy last year and it was damn near the most expensive beer there.

Where I live none of them are cheap. Nothing is cheap here. But they are cheaper than imports and microbrews.

This may the only post out of your 29,000 that I agree with. There may be hope for you yet Billay. :thumb:

This is like the random thought thread only 10x cooler.

I looked up and saw Hawaii and then I understood. My experience was in Joplin and it was actually more expensive than imports and microbrews. Turns out Coors has a huge hillbilly following.

Sorry, but if someone puts their hands on my woman like hootie does then they deserve to have their ass kicked. Call it macho bullshit if you want. I call it not being a pussy that gets walked all over by society.

Keep in mind, that I haven't had a fistfight in 12 years.

RIP Gnarly Cougar

The most amazing thing about hootie's stories are the reactions. The stories sound just like what my friends and would do in our 20 (and more like what I do in my 30s than I would like to admit).

Number of beatings received in bars: 1

Ha, I had forgot about that place. Wasn't open very long really, a few years maybe?

LMAO You haven't been here in a while. Come to Branson, I'll personally take you on a fantastic beer tour.

**** you.

I was there in September. Drank a lot of Natural Light. Tasted like water and made me piss a lot. Couldn't find a decent beer anywhere. But I will admit it is not as civilized as Branson. Which says a lot. I haven't been to Branson since the 80s. Probably changed a lot.

I agree. Keep in mind I have been in a couple this year...
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Oh, good. We have a couple of internet tough guys here. :thumb:

You have no Earthly idea. LMAO

Women don't count.

Lol. Whatever you say...

I don't talk tough on line.
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Look back through the thread. I already laid out where the line was
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You deserved it too. Hurt my ****ing knuckles