DJ's left nut |
01-27-2020 09:21 AM |
So I've had a day to process this one and it still just stings. A lot.
I've been a Lakers fan since the early 90s so obviously this one gets to me a bit, but it's more than that. A fair amount more.
Sports heroes are funny - for most of us them we were either just a little too young to fully recall their entire careers or they came just a little too late in our lives to really imprint on us. Ozzie Smith was my guy growing up but I have no recollection of the first 2/3 of his career. And by the time I was 18-20 years old, someone like Yadi just doesn't have the impact on me that he might have had when I was younger.
So to really get the full impact of that kind of phenomenon you really need to have them come along in a sweet spot of about 10-16 years old. You're old enough to remember everything about their careers but young enough to still be in awe of them. I was 14 when the Lakers drafted Kobe. I remember the trade when we sent out Divac and the fascination with this ludicrously precocious kid who was set to play with Van Exel and Eddie Jones. I was old enough to appreciate the gravity of the moment and young enough to stand in awe of it.
Which brings us to the part of all this that REALLY hurts for men of a particular age - these guys that are 33-40 years old. Kobe was so damn young when he arrived on the scene that he was still almost a contemporary. We went through the same stages in our lives at the same times he did. We were starting out professionally as he was exploding onto the national landscape. Most of us hit that lull in our mid-20s that comes with the working world right around the time he was starting to slog through the post-Shaq lakers and the sexual assault stuff. When he had his 2nd ascension we were finding our way in our lives, professionally and personally through our late 20s. And when he was having moments with his children and his athleticism was fading, we were feeling the same pressures; the same excitements and disappointments that came with maturation and age.
He grew up from the same piss and vinegar teenager to seasoned, accomplished adult just when we were. He was maturing into a father and industry leader at the same times we hoped we were. We saw so much in him that we could relate to that just so rarely comes from sports figures.
Sadly, I'm getting a little numb to loss in the athletic world at this point. As a fan of the Chiefs (Thomas), Cardinals (Kile), Blues (Demitra) and now Lakers - this shit is getting a little more routine than I'd like. But man this one just hits hard because those guys were adults when I was a kid. They were 15-20 years older than me and so it was losing a sports figure more than it was losing someone who you watched grow up with the same issues you did at the same time you did.
This one's different. This was a fiercely driven type A personality who we observed learn how to properly channel all that fire in real-time. And who's struggles with that confusion we could relate to. And when he triumphed and re-prioritized, we related to that as well. My oldest daughter is 6 years old and to see those videos of Kobe and his girls at similar ages in full color and high resolution makes it all the more staggering. I've never seen my little girl drill a turnaround jumper at the sports academy I founded, but I've saw her drive a liner up the box for the T-Ball team I coached and her excitement (and my pride) was no different. That video of Kobe w/ his daughter that's going viral is a moment I've had with my little girl when I'm trying to discuss a fielders stance and you can just see the light come on. I've said this before but for fathers, daughters are such a unique and sacred trust that they change you a lot and we saw that in a hundred different ways with Kobe. And those of us that are fortunate enough to have daughters of our own knew all too well what he was feeling in those moments because we had 'em at the same time.
Yeah, he was a global icon and a zillionaire but for 20 of my most formative years, Kobe just wasn't that different from me and you could see it those private moments. Then to see it just...end. Man - this isn't how it was supposed to go.
And that just sucks so damn much.
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