47. vailpass

http://jokesaboutcancer.files.wordpr...ayer.gif?w=800

AKA one of the Donk fans who posts here all the time.

No, not the cool one. That's listopencil.

No, not the tolerable one. That's MileHighMania.

No, not the inbred douchebag who masturbates at least four times a day to shows on the Disney Channel. That's Knowmo.

Yeah, the slightly alcoholic one. That's vailpass.

Once a vicious Donk troll, vailpass is now full of peace and love, brother. He cares about you and how you're doing. He'll laugh at your jokes and laugh at himself. He loves this forum, and while he will never root against his Donks, he feels sorry for the misery we Chiefs fans have had to endure after all these years. And because of that, he's willing to be easy-going and cool. "Hey, you guys like beer? I certainly do."

"Hey, anybody see How I Met Your Mother last night? Hilarious!"

"Hey, anybody else own a pool? See, I live in Arizona, so it's something my family can use to better stay cool and enjoy the outdoors. I just got a problem with the guy who came out to fix the filter the other day. He didn't speak any English, and from his condition, I could kind of tell that he's been through some rough conditions recently, like living in the middle of the desert while trying to illegally cross the border. And he came to my house in a van driven by these coloreds, and I could clearly tell that one of them was that black dude who walked deliberately slow at a cross walk a couple days ago when I was stopped at a stop sign. I saw him get out of the van to help Speedy Gonzalez with the pool, but the doofus had his own problems just keeping his goddamn pants on without showing the world his big black asscrack. I told him to wear a belt, because my kids were around and could probably see that dark side of the moon, but it's like he couldn't hear me. You'd think he'd be able to loud and clear with ears that enormous, so maybe he was just ignoring me. What's up with people of his kind, anyway? Do any of you ever have that happen to you?"

LMAO

Nice Roast. I love the beginning of your roast aside from where you mention MileHighMania as tolerable. The more posts I read from that dude, the more I wonder if he should be part of Howard Stern's wack pack.

I likely would have gone some route of making fun of the girls Vailpass claims to bring around his place, so your roast is much better than I could have done.

Vailpass is a solid poster.

As a continuation of Vailpass's roast, lets post pics or gifs of Vailpass's face after seeing the opening high snap in the Super Bowl!

I'll start:

http://i1262.photobucket.com/albums/...ps42a4a803.gif

http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/466...-suicide-o.gif GIFSoup

There's the old classic...

http://i1094.photobucket.com/albums/...-star-trek.gif

lolololol....my wife and I just lost it to both of y'all.

You can't be "slightly alcoholic".

At least I can't be.

Yeah. Nice roast. I agree that it needed to mention his infamous percocet pool parties with grade A Arizona talent in order to really capture Vailpass 2.0.

Interesting. Once I got rid of the "live or die with each game" aspect, I realized that I don't even really like football.

Gotta mention his hot tub hoggin!

This. Sometimes I enjoy the gallows humor at playoff losses while they are happening as much as when we do well.

Sorry, been a bit busy lately.

I'll put in two roasts tonight to try to put things back on schedule.

46. KC Tattoo

http://ia.media-imdb.com/images/M/MV...14,317_AL_.jpg

Given KC Tattoo's butthurted response to the last time he got roasted, I'm going to do his roast in spoiler brackets. KC Tattoo, if you don't want to suffer the butthurt of last time, then just don't click on the spoiler tab. You'll be safe that way.

Okay, here it goes.

KC Tattoo matters a lot.

If I could reach out and hug KC Tattoo, I would

We should all call KC Tattoo our friend

KC Tattoo is #1

The Chiefs keep doing the same ****ing bullshit they've been doing for 25 years.

I've lost interest until they draft a legitimate QB in the first round.

So if a lower round QB turned out to be great for KC, ala Tom Brady for NE, you wouldn't have any interest in the team?

Yeah that will happen.

That's why it's a hypothetical question. Answer it. Or are you waiting for someone more creative to post an answer to the question on reddit so you can post it and try to pass it off as your own.

I think I'd have shot myself by now if we drafted everyone's favorite first round QB and spent the last 7 years going from Sanchez to Geno.

Yeah going to AFC Championship games sucks.

Meh 4 1/2 Pooties.

Not butthurt at all and maybe disappointed for that.

Really you can do better roast for me. I turn 40 this month I'm a man I can take it.

:)

:) Cheers...

Vailpass' nickname in DC is Captain Floaties, because he is incapable of diving deep into the issues, thereby relegating him to the kiddie pool.

thinking the reason they went to AFC Championship games had anything to do with QB play is why the median user on this website is a football dipshit

To qualify as a nickname more than one person has to use it. Preferably someone whose testicles have dropped...

Age is just a number kiddo.

(fyp)

You don't remember this dandy?

I was hoping someone would get the reference.

<iframe width="640" height="360" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/GU331ak0TSY?feature=player_embedded" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Forgot about that dumbass moment.

That's because you are so ****ing old.
Posted via Mobile Device

What's wrong with that?

I gave you an awful picture of Paula Poundstone. That was pretty ****ing harsh, in my opinion

Apparently I missed the time you had a rad party at your pool. Everybody brought it up, and I either just can't remember it or I never saw it.

Sorry. I think I probably could have done better. Although I had to get in a jab at Iowa, too.

Oh shit. The pic doesn't show.

You mean
<a href="http://photobucket.com/images/paula%20poundstone" target="_blank"><img src="http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a364/michaels711/81203588MS024_Portrait_Sess.jpg" border="0" alt="paula poundstone photo: Paula Poundstone 81203588MS024_Portrait_Sess.jpg"/></a>

her?

But, she isn't funny. Not funny at all.


Oh snap that's the roast.

:deevee:

Congrats on making top 50, tat.

SNR, I've gotta be honest, I didn't get the comedy behind this gif. I realize having to explain a joke takes the comedy out of it, but can I get the story?

I'm assuming the Varsity boys will be peppered among the top spots.

Abrams

/moar lens flare /flair

http://media0.giphy.com/media/8jF2jKQq6OuZO/200.gif

I didn't know that kctattoo was fat.

Man, I really need to rethink being friends with him. I can't be friends with a fatty.

I didn't know I was fat that makes me want to off my self.


Well bye.



Is 5'10" 196 lbs give or take 10 lbs fat?

He's a Hawkeye fan.

Also the chick in the middle is too fat, so she totally received an invitation to vailpass' pool party.

They're all out in the parking lot passing a joint before the FCA meeting....

To Omaha it is.

That was a Stanzi-Hawk vs. Wisconsin game from 2010 if I remember correctly. Stanzi totally ****ed up at the end of that game....worst **** up I ever witnessed of his. There was a lot of crying that night...literally, people were throwing fits and crying everywhere... I couldn't care less...Notre Dame. However, I did like Stanzi-ball....usually some exciting shit.

You just made me think of Tommy Rees. I hate you right now.

she doesn't look fat to me. she's kinda cute

It's my sister.

incestuous relationship?

Negative. This is Iowa, not Arkansas.

too bad

she might be worth it

Not if it's pure mean lean muscle.

You hurt me. You hurt me deeply.

Is she an Alex Smith fan?

Something tells me this isn't the first time you've said this.

:) Not sure how to take that (tees it up...)

from behind

She thinks he's hot.

Well nevermind. I guess I could muster up enough energy for a grudge ****.

You shouldn't talk about my sister like that.

45. Iowanian

I'd like to introduce a special guest to present the roast of Iowanian, the man who knows more ways to say "penis" than the entire Planet combined.

Please welcome skinbra!

Iranian bit OFF!! yuo mad i got hot gurl?

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK!!!

heer Iranian spend day of wiht favrit ho
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-eG6_LREC5H...with-a-cow.jpg

big d8 wiht gurlfrend SUCK wif get angry
http://www.thebuzzmedia.com/wp-conte...t_of_dress.jpg

Iranian dreem car
http://www.hpj.com/wsdocs/ffa/images...ld_tractor.jpg

Iranian go best frend porker's hous watch cheefs loose!!!!!
http://www.issues.cc/lib/thumb/phpTh...3816.jpg&w=300

Iranian u gay go suk goat

HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCK!!!

Rock AND Roll!!!!!!


BTW -

Iranian spring brake!!

https://0.s3.envato.com/files/454796...Coop-4-Pre.jpg

I don't think I've ever seen a person with their belly button below their knee before

:eek:

Though, to be honest thinking back, I may have. When I worked Pinkerton at a warehouse in college, there was a lady who worked the night shift in the telemarketing center. Telemarketing was on the second floor of a central command structure in the middle of the warehouse. If the gradients are heavy, fat, obese, morbidly obese, . . . she was holocaustically obese, and thus physically incapable of climbing stairs. So we had to escort her every night to, and operate for her, the freight elevator. There was pendulous matter swaying below hip level unrelated to lower extremities, but one tried to discretely relegate such matters to extreme peripheral vision.

That was brilliant, SNR. Your best ever. Will be hard to top.

Maximum Pooties.

Dinny

Did you get some of that?

That last pic in the Iranian roast Rico?

LMAO

HHHHHHOOOOOOOOCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!

44. duncan_idaho

http://mcantil.com/wp-content/upload.../05/Royals.jpg

Proposed 2014 slogan: Nobody should like the Royals this much and not be an alcoholic who has gone through more than two divorces
Actual 2014 slogan: "You gotta love livin', cause dying is a pain in the ass." ---- Sinatra
A better, more accurate, or alternative slogan: Hey, at least he's not as boring as mylonsd

The 44th best poster of 2014 is also the 3rd best poster associated with Idaho, coming in behind Idaho_Chief'sChick (who could one day post nudies of her self) and Idahojim and his every-man-Chiefs-fan essays he used to write on kcchiefs.com in the Rufus Dawes days.

He also holds the distinction of "Most Unremarkable Poster" from 2007 and 2011. It's no coincidence that touting Idaho and its "FAMOUS POTATOES" in your username would also naturally make you a particularly boring person. In the same vein, duncan_idaho's tourist slogan could be "FAMOUS ROYALS REPOSITORY THREADS," because the only slightly interesting thing about duncan_idaho is that he really likes the Royals.

Burning Questions for 2014:

1) Will he ever get an avatar that matches the "M-I-Z-Z-O-U" tagline underneath his username?

Midseason check-in: Nope. Apparently not.

2) Will he ever change his username to accurately reflect that he no longer lives in Idaho?

Midseason check-in: Possibly. I think if he accidentally drank some absinthe and posted on the Planet, he might post something that a mod would actually read for once, and potentially they would change his username to reflect his new "exciting" behavior.

3) Can he reach 10,000 posts by 2015?

Midseason check-in: Barring another spirited yet dull argument with Hootie over Ned Yost's batting order, this looks pretty doubtful.

4) Can somebody please point to something interesting besides Royals threads that this guy wrote?

Midseason check-in: I'm serious. I remember him making quality football posts from time to time, but there's nothing in my memory that I can label him by. Even his roast is ****ing boring; I've been forced to make jokes about Idaho, Rufus Dawes, and potatoes!

5) Can SNR come up with 10 burning questions about duncan_idaho to complete the repository thread meme?

Midseason check-in: Nope. This is my last one. I'm done. I'm totally dry. I can't think of any more shit to write about this guy that doesn't suck worse than the stuff I've already written.

Rufus Dawes ref. TIGHT.

Duncan Idaho is a character in a fantasy novel, not a reference to his state residence.

Watch out, we got a Dune nerd here!

If frazod was here, he would shit a kitten at the thought of milkman referencing Dune.

Technically I never asserted that duncan_idaho was from Idaho :harumph:

But yeah, good call. Never read Dune.

Actually forgotten it was Dune, it'd been so long since I read it.

But I am a SciFi/Fantasy buff though I haven't read a lot recently.

I did finally get around to reading the last 3 books of "The Wheel Of Time" in the last month.

NERDS!
http://apps.startribune.com/blogs/us...ng-nerds-o.gif

five stars

ROFL :LOL: LMAO

In the medical field this is called "the apron".

Depending on the needs of the procedure, sometimes a person is designated to hold the apron.

I don't understand the Iowanian roast, and I don't know who Duncan_Idaho is. That's just my n00bness flaring up. I'll take an aspirin and be better by morning.

It's referring to this encounter:

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=27035

Careful, though. I warn you that the Planet you read today is nothing like the Planet you see in that thread. You may be confused.

Thanks. I've got an hour to kill anyways.