Well, at least I picked who number one was.

Congrats Claynus.

that uh, is shocking.

I can't believe I don't know the answer to this, but did hootie make the list?

he did.

Really? Claynus?? AWWWW FOR ****S SAKE....I may have to stay away even longer....no wonder Fax, Gaz, Phobs and Skip don't live here anymore....THE DOUCHES HAVE TAKEN OVER THE ASYLUM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Like I said, it's about one thing and one thing only.

Content.

Rain Man's great. So is Hamas. But they don't drive this forum. They're not the engine that never breaks down.

Like him or hate him, there's burst when Clay is around. And he's around all the time. That's #1 poster material.

we should collaborate next year (you, me, SNR) and one up this list

The engine produces a vile stench. Quality shoulda been a factor....

I think 2013 - 2014 Clay has been absolutely terrible. Can see right through his nonsense.

Sorry, but I'm gonna be Abe Vigoda next year. I'm perfectly happy sitting in the back smiling and nodding.

Yeah man I'm totally faking my hatred for Alex.

So, uh, I know this is a bit attention whorey to be asking this, but I'm wondering what your favorite roasts are.

Like what's your top 5? In order?

Yeah, I'm mostly asking because I finally finished this thing, and I'm still in the reflection stage. Particularly I'm interested in those like Sweet Daddy, rico, Tim, Flopnuts, Clay, and numerous others who have been following this thing from the beginning. What did you guys think?

That and... you know... attention whore.

It's okay, boo. You're number 1, and NO ONE gives two shits about two syllables that plop from Hootie's talking-sphincter.

There's the Phil roast, and then there's everything else.

5) Dane

4) Hamas

3) Flop

2) Phobia

1) Milkman

Absolutely

He doesn't post often anymore but I always liked DJ's Left Nut. I don't recall him making the list.

Not sure you could make a good roast about him, though. He was kind of a straight shooter.

I had him in the top 10, but then I checked and realized that he had posted like, 3 times in 2014. So unfortunately I couldn't put him on.

As far as ranking the roasts... yeah, I'm not sure that anything could be more enjoyable than the Phil roast.

Didnt even know who it was about to begin, but JUST as soon as I laid eyes on the pig in the field marshals jacket, I knew it would be great no matter what... and great it was.

My top snubs:



Again, I totally would have done this the right way if I had been the listmaker for the entire project. There are these guys and like 30 other people who have been active posters in 2014 who deserve to be on here.

Phil was number 1. Easy.

2. You nailed my asshole like I was a 2x4. I'm just sayin.

3. Clay. I know you barely got started, but that was gold that he didn't get roasted. That was part of the beauty of it.

I dunno. I'd Have to go back through it all...

I don't have the attention span to do more than a handful. What SNR did was an incrediblyimpressive display of endurance. Mark me down for something, but doing another 100 roasts right after it's just been done is pointless.

What I need to do is find a way to shit on people (something I love) without putting fourth much effort (something I hate).

Forgot about him... He's a top 10 poster IMO.

KCNUT

You could just start an offseason thread, "Post here if you need a swift kick in the ass."

You don't have to write up lengthy roasts. Just a one-lined clever insult is all you need. Or you can do more if you think that person deserves it.

I kind of like that idea.

That one met mixed reviews last time.

Phil's was a thing of beauty.

All I have to say is that the site below might be in order!

http://www.stopbullying.gov/

The Phobia roast was the Ulysses of roasts. The others, although great, are dime store novels in comparison.

Mine was awesome. Oh wait.. **** off.

For the snubs we should do a CP wide roast. Start the thread and let everyone throw a few one liners or paragraphs, brutally roasting the snubbed. New thread for each one, it is the off season....

It was a flawed list. All of those guys are top 30 CP posters.

The Sign of LaForge told me that this would happen.

It is said that when lines appear and disappear in a pool of water, it is a sign that loochy will be snubbed in the top 101 list.

I think it was the weak tendons for your pectoral muscle that get you snubbed. You just couldn't push yourself up enough to make it.

Okay...

I'm going to start a new thread, but I need a few posters who want to be part of it to start. It's going to be similar to the roast threads, but with roastee participation required.

I will start a story about the roastee. It will be in the style of a "choose your own adventure", though. It will be up to the roastee to make a selection. Depending on whether the roastee selects choice A or choice B, one of the other two writers will take over the story. Each roastee will make one choice, and then the next roastee will take over.

I am 100% sure that this will be a ****ing train wreck. I need volunteers...preference will be given to those on the SNR snub list if I get a bunch of requests.

Shoot me a PM if you want in.

Loochy was gonna be on there but just ran out of names. I would love to see someone roast him and pawn.

AND I WOULD LOVE TO SEE YOU UPDATE THE OP

I'm gonna get drunk and read back through a lot of them tonight. It was impressive how you did so many quality roasts. I kept expecting the effort to fall off...but you kept chugging along.

The Phobia roast though. That was genius. That was one that even new guys like myself could enjoy without knowing the complete history of the place.

The Donger roast sticks out to me.

We need a Go Chiefs roast before this heads to its new home, the HOC.

Clay has changed his CP handle more than he's had sexual partners, including guys, and more than he's flipped/flopped his love/hate position on alex smith. But not as many times as he mods have abused their powers or PGM has been asked to update the ****ing OP!!!!!

And floppynuts is joke worthy.

The end, send it off.....

I can only assume that the wait will be well worth it, I expect SNR to be wide awake at this very moment grinding his teeth in a coke induced haze trying to finish his magnum opus.

Is it a lot of pressure?

Sure it is and guess what?... TOUGH SHIT, chop up another fat line and get busy mfer... there is no fortune without sacrifice.

CHOP CHOP.

My five favorite roasts:

5. FMB!
4. PGM
3. Rainman
2. Donger
1. Phobia.

The Phobia roast was majorly epic. It filled some gaps on the history of CP for us noobs. Funny and educational. Well done.

The Rain Man and Donger roasts were very entertaining and funny. I laughed the whole way through. That rant at the end of Rain Man's roast when your telling him what his next meal should be was awesome.

PGM and FMB roasts just made me laugh.

I thought the Milkman roast was very well done. not as funny as the others, but a great idea, and a great effort.

Finally, the Iowanian roast originally made no sense to me, but when I was linked to the reference thread, it made it all worth it. A ton of fun.

Kudos again, SNR. Well done.

I thought the Clay roast would have been perfect if it were left the way it was (congrats, you are #1)...opposed to disclosing that there was a roast that had gone through the initial stages, but not completed...not that it wasn't nice seeing what had already been completed in the Clay roast...but stretching it out, building the anticipation leading to the "congrats man, your #1" roast would have inadvertently been the perfect roast for him.

Yep. That ****er was squirming, too. Leaving him in that state would have been wonderful.

I said "send it off!"

SNR, Are we getting a Go Chiefs roast or not?

I'm gonna' start in with "Attica" soon....

I'm done roasting for awhile. If you bump this in May or something, I might have a renewed grounding of creative energy and write one up.

Until then, no.

Okay, I'll move it to the HOC to reside in the creme le creme.

When you get around to it, you can post the roast in there.

Very good. I'll probably just make another thread or hijack Saul's Choose Your Own Roast thread if I come up with Clay's.

What, am I chopped liver?

If you finish the Star Trek thing I will love you forever. Take your time, Par'Mach'kai.

Tell you what. Let's make this extra special. Who's your crew?

The only choice you don't have is Counselor Simplyred. He comes with the ship.

I'll pound something out in the next month or so.

First Officer 'Hamas' Jenkins

Science Officer Cdcox

Chief Engineer Rain Man

Tactical Officer Bwana

Helm Direckshun

Security Chief Phobia

Crew Chef Fire Me Boy!

Chief Medical Officer SNR

Ensign Hootie

If that's too many delete/combine crew members as you wish.

And work Mav in as a really dumb villain.

Roddenberry is rolling over in his grave.

That's an all-white crew of senior officers.

You can make some of them aliens.

I'm totally putting in a sexy scene with Simply Red and me

http://31.media.tumblr.com/36fce29d5...5o3_r1_250.gif

LMAO @ a few things in the last 3-4 posts.

A lot of us are on that boat. NDB!

This means 'Hamas' has to do Simply Red.

Your not one of the cool kids.:harumph:

Bunch of ****ing dorks...

It also means Hootie is my son.

****. I'm an awful parent.

**** you.

You're already Admiral Flopnuts per SNR's Chapter 1. What more do you want?

I thought I'd been replaced. That was as genuine butt hurt as any in this thread. Lol

I guess technically I also named Admiral Kloster as well.

That first chapter can get re-written, though.

Field demotion.

ROFL

Fixed

:huh:

I don't even get to be a Cardassian or the irascible Scottish asshole.

FU Clay.

Darth Carl Satan is from the Star Wars universe.

Don't be sad. You can arrest all the cool kids and stick them in a cell with Bubba.

I can't wait to start watching Star Trek and understanding these references.

This is true.

Therefore, any SW-themed roast shall feature myself as the Emperor.

I doubt you could make it through the first season of TNG OR DS9. They are 2/3 mediocre/garbage episodes.

Don't lie to us. You're not going to do that.