Personality only gets you so far. It's a truth I've come to terms with. This is not why I'm making the changes I'm in the progress of making in my life. I'm hoping it's a perk, though. :)

This. Exactly this.

I agree with you to a point. But I know that looks used to be #1 but that doesn't work for a solid relationship (see both my ex's). Now it's personality #1 and as long as they take care of themselves no matter what their size then who cares?

I'd say it's not a simple cut-and-dried thing. If you're comfortable with who you are and how you look, then you'll be comfortable with someone else accepting you. And, on the other hand, it's not shallow, to me, if someone else feels the same way about my appearance that I do.

In any case, I never said looks are number 1. My only point is that it isn't shallow for looks to be on the list, whether it's 1, 2, 5 or 250. Looks are part of the package, and I do think, in a lot of cases, looks are a reflection of other facets. As in I look the way I do because of who I am; it's a result of underlying factors.

As for 'no matter what their size', well...god no. There are limits, and I have no problem saying that. Let's say for the sake of argument that there's a 450-pound woman with the greatest personality in history. It's not going to change the fact that she's 450 pounds, and I don't ever want to see a 450-pound woman naked. End of story.

And I have no problem at all if a 150 pound woman looks at me and thinks the exact same thing about a 250-pound guy.

Lest we forget, a woman with a body carved by god herself could have the voice of a hag or the laugh of a hyena or the brain of a 40-pound rock. I don't think it's shallow for any of those things to be turnoffs either.

Actually, they're a stalker, and have some mental issues as well. For all the shit, people on this board like to run about Clay, I highly doubt he ever took the time to try and **** with with someone in the real world. It's more than classless, it's a bit deranged. I hope whoever did it finds the professional help that they obviously need.

I wish I could give you a Green Anti-Infraction card... kinda like Mega-rep.

Alas, normal rep will have to do for now.

It's OK. At least I can say that one way or the other, I got ****ed.

While there's a hint of truth to what you say, it's mostly clueless.

Most people who would be worth having are enough worth having that they can be somewhat choosy about who has them. Some people are so worth having that they can be very choosy.

If you're in a competition for someone who can be choosy, you need to compete on every front available. Looks are important because that's probably the most obvious factor that your choosy target will be able to detect. You can be a terrible parent or terrible at planning for retirement, but those things might not become obvious for quite some time. If you look terrible (not saying that luv is in this category), it's obvious from the get go. You've got to at least present yourself in a package that will get over the winnowing threshold of the choosy guy you're trying to land.

This.

FYP

Not all women like arrogance.

So there's hope for me yet!

You confuse confidence for arrogance.

I don't even know if I'm disposed to being attracted to heavier girls because of the baggage I've taken on from a couple of crazy ones. More than once I've dated a girl whose heavier 'good friend' decided out of the blue that my girlfriend was not worthy of me as they were in fact my one true love, and set about making both [my and my GF's] our lives a living hell.

You can tell when someone has confidence without them having to tell them they have it. A confident person doesn't put down other people's prospects just because they don't meet their personal standards.