Oh, OK. Just keep up that fight.

Present it.

Don't patronize me, you formerly fat ****!

This is where I'd insert a spoiler tag with the goatse pic in it if I was not a mod.

Frazod & Donger vs Hootie and Clay

Cage match

Go

Why? /Donger

Bring it the **** on! /Clay

You're off the list. /Hootie

Fetch me a water, boy. Clay, have your mother soak up your tears after you fail to masteurbate to Star Trek movies again. /Frazod

Geno should be on this list/boss chief
New thread: should Geno be on this list?/ Direction

I dont think you're going to like that at all...

I do want to remind Hootie that he's designated CP's #1 music conversationist as the 96th best poster.

Seriously, if this were the ChiefsPlanet draft, and Reaper went with the 96th overall pick, that team just found themselves a Justin Houston.

RRRRRR. That is incorrect.

What we were looking for is spork. Eat my butthole with a spork.

It's still your turn, next category please.

Son, never trust a man who doesn't drink because he's probably a self-righteous sort, a man who thinks he knows right from wrong all the time. Some of them are good men, but in the name of goodness, they cause most of the suffering in the world. They're the judges, the meddlers. And, son, never trust a man who drinks but refuses to get drunk. They're usually afraid of something deep down inside, either that they're a coward or a fool or mean and violent. You can't trust a man who's afraid of himself. But sometimes, son, you can trust a man who occasionally kneels before a toilet. The chances are that he is learning something about humility and his natural human foolishness, about how to survive himself. It's damned hard for a man to take himself too seriously when he's heaving his guts into a dirty toilet bowl.

Nicely put, rep

I drink to get buzzed. No other purpose for such an activity. I hope that enlightens you.

And we're back. Hopefully.

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lfzpkiB3LC1qafrh6.gif

It's pretty effective to temporarily dull the pain you've accumulated from your whore of a mother neglecting you for your entire childhood.

Not that I'd know.

You're afraid of something deep inside of yourself. Figure that out. It's more important than calling me a Neanderthal.

No, logic dictates that excessive consumption of alcoholic beverages can be dangerous. Therefore, I moderate my intake.

You're welcome, cro-magnon man.

You're wise beyond your years.

No, wait, you are a dumbass who thinks he knows about life events without experiencing them.

Excess? It's always the worst, but until you try something to excess you'll just come off pretentious.

I've been drunk before. Probably three times. It wasn't all that.

If you enjoy it, you're a man of simple pleasures. I have no beef with that. Enjoy killing brain cells if that's your thing.

I know what he's afraid of that's deep inside of him.
https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/i...sj1C1r7lTHcYcv

But have you had three jobs? Balance plays a part....

Nice.

My best friend is a guy who didn't get smashed until his 25th birthday. He prided himself on being the responsible designated driver. He'd maybe been buzzed before, but said he knew he could handle liquor. Upon getting smashed, he ended up laying in the yard puking all over the place. He kept apologizing whenever we were helping him. When we said it was okay, he got pissed. Kept saying that this was supposed to be us and not him, that he wasn't that kind of person. Uh, what kind of people do you think we are?

Drinking in excess is becoming dependent on it to function. I applaud people who have recognized that they've reached that point and do something about. I laugh at people who pretend to know about liquor, who think they've been drunk but probably haven't, and feel they have some sort of right to judge.

Can you imagine Clay dropping acid? All of his pent-up demons free instantly. That would be epic! :eek:

Not judging anyone. Different strokes for different folks. If getting shitfaced at your bar is an idea of a good time, have it. Just realize it's not for everyone.

I can't think of anything dumber. Way to risk your long-term health.

That was pretty dead-on, Hootie, except I'm totally a cat person.

Also, did you not read the CP Power Couples thread from this week, man? I posted a picture of myself wearing a damn dress.

Physiologically, a high dose it isn't any worse for you than a couple cocktails.

Psychologically, well....

The world is not ready

Eleven 200 post threads in one/Skip

Posted via Web TV through tincan and string

I had previously never seen someone bring their dog to a bar. I happened to read this thread around midnight last before I headed out to a local bar..... Where some ****ing asshole had brought his dog.

Seriously, I wanted to punch that asshole in his ****ing face. That type of loud atmosphere can't be good for a dog.

Did you bring home a fat white girl?

must not have

I can't swear to God and have people take me seriously because I'm not religious

but I swear on our precious Chiefs that I've never seen a picture of you

I live in Champaign-Urbana

and we never go to the Urbana part because it's a bunch of hippie liberal homosexuals and they all bring their god damn dogs to the Urbana bars and it's awful

Common misconception brainwashed into youths by D.A.R.E. It's definitely not worse than the following:

Alcohol
Cigarettes
Prescription Analgesics
Energy Drinks
Fast Food
Television
Diet Soda
Lead Paint
Fuel Emissions

Well, I went with a white girl with a big butt. We had sex afterward. It was nice.

There's a risk, and that is a fact.

**** that shit.

sounds fat to me

I hear you. Freaking dogs bite your ass when you try to date rape their owners.

5'4" 130 lbs. Not fat.

Fat pig/ Omaha

I have a no dogs in room policy when I'm going to pound town.

What if you're just making a stop at blow job junction? Dogs allowed then?

depends how you have them mix it. In my case you are dead wrong
Posted via Mobile Device

High five

This

:LOL:

Quit being a pussy.

Although, there's no real acid around anymore. However, you could eat some mushrooms which don't have close to the risks that acid does.

JFC everyone is off the list

LOL, and it crumbles.

Your list is so insignificant that it is hilarious.

That's hootie crying because he's no longer the center of attention. I sense a full on tantrum a coming.

hilarious enough it has garnered 33,000 views

I am stuck at work until 3, hungover, and I have a scheduled "date" tonight and I refuse to hang out with new girls sober

so I'm in a state of panic

LMAO, yep, that is what this thread is about.

and I'm going to go to the nearest bar after work and pound a few daiquiris and I fully expect to pound this 23 year old busty coed by 10 PM

Hootie can't do anything.

Can't make 20 free throws.

Can't post 101 10-minute reviews.

Can't stop posting stupid threads.

Have you tried to rufie yourself? That would be hilarious. Must have pics to see if its like the Hangover.

Hootiebhow many girls have you had unprotected sex with

I have tremendous survival skills so I'm sure I'd find a way home and just pass the **** out like I always do when I'm too drunk to function.

this week?

Hootie owes us pics of the busty coed for this aborted thread.

I haven't aborted it yet. I still plan on doing 1 a day until I lose interst.

Oh boy

**** shrooms and acid.

I'm crazy enough normally. They make me nuts
Posted via Mobile Device

the thing about said coed is

here is our story:

last Tuesday I was at my favorite bar, of course...and I was standing at the fence at the beer garden berating every hot girl that went by...

well these two coeds decided to come in...students are gone; campus is dead...we were the only people really there...about 15 people total actually

well I was sitting at a table with my 2 best friends...and there was 1 open seat

2 girls

so they go and get drinks, I think nothing of it

they come out to hang out with us because clearly I'm super witty and amazing and stuff

the other girl takes the seat

and I'm like..

"ohhh...guess you're gonna have to sit on my lap!"

to which she's like "ok, cool."

so....

then my two friends flipped a quarter for $20

the one who always loses lost...and the other guy ripped the $40 in half to prove some sort of point

the girl is like...."oh you'll just tape it back together..."

and you never challenge my friend's manhood like that

so he proceeded to tear the $40 into 1000 pieces and throw it like confetti...which appalled the other girl

but back to me

so I, being me, got super, super, super blacked out and the next thing I knew it was 6 AM and my alarm was going off

I was in my bed, with said girl...with no clothes on...

and I had no recollection of leaving the bar, didn't know the girls name, had no idea why my alarm was set to 6 AM...so I just kind of lifted the covers up and looked at her butt cheeks and I was like..."cool"

that's our story so far

clearly this girl is super classy

ROFL

and this happens to me a lot

I'll get in with a group of girls because I'm really good at being the center of attention

but then I'll get soooooo ****ed up...

it's astonishing

I can only imagine what blacked out Rick says to these girls to have them come back with me

actually I do know because my roommate will videotape some of my drunk dials and they are legendary

Is her name Michelle?

Do you typically black out?

ROFL This shit always cracks me up. I believe you too. On all of it. So my question is, do you take herpes medicine? Statistically speaking, you're a lock. So don't even deny it. But hey, a minor inconvenience for all of that ass.

no you son of a bitch

I'm trying to tell you that that girl is ****ing awful and literally goes out, has 3 beers, and is just a dreadful human being

she works with the guy who goes out with me every day every week and he invites her and her awful friends out

the ongoing joke is that I pretend I'm in love with her and that's why you see pictures of her always popping up on my facebook

if you don't believe me, I am sure I can prove it

even if I wanted to bang this atrocious girl, she wouldn't bang me...because she literally seen me out 3 times this week and literally I left with a different girl each time

oh and she claims she doesn't masturbate so gross

Did your butthole burn the next day? Almost like it was stretched out?

I just can't wrap my head around Hootie...at all....he's like a god...

I've went out every night this week and I have either blacked or browned out every single time

I imagine tonight is going to be the worst one yet.

I call it the 3 beer trigger...

right now...beer sounds AWFUL

just terrible

I'm literally on a 14 out of 15 night summer binge

but no matter how I feel, in any circumstance...after 3 beers I'm ready to ****ing rage and beer tastes terrific

the 3 beer trigger

it's how I survive!

FYP

The things dark souled former fat virgins worship.

:doh!:

as far as I know I don't have herpes

I've admitted to having chlamydia a few times and I used to bang a girl with HPV so I'm chalking myself up to having that as well

generally I use the girls I bang as STD checks

if I don't get a call from them telling me I'm an asshole for giving them "this or that"...then I feel like I'm clean and ready for the next!