She's old...... or she TOO old?

Big difference.

The fact that she's a woman was enough for me to not want to do it.

WOOHOO!!! I finally finished shopping for dad's birthday. I ended up getting him an Ozzie Smith plaque and a Chiefs helmet history felt pennant for his man cave, a couple of new metal license plate borders (holders, protectors, whatever they're called) since his old plastic ones are way faded, and the Chiefs safari hat (which is the only thing he knows about).

Also got him a couple of buttons (one lights up) about being 60 and being old, along with a big beaded necklace, to wear to work Saturday. For the party, I just went with a couple of turning 60 centerpieces and a 4 ft long inflatable cane that says something about beating you if you tease him about his age.

3.5-hour flight delay. Yippie-ki-****ing-a.

Finally started my paper whose rough draft is due tonight. :)

I'm writing about the smoking ban that passed in Springfield, and that it's had a negative effect on the city as written. I figure I will write it in a way that makes people think that I'm a smoker, and then deliver the blow in the conclusion that I feel this way as a non-smoker.

You'll have to be pretty convincing. Your conclusion twist wont have much weight if the rest of your arguments are light.

Billie Jean is not my lover
she's just a girl
and she claims that I am the one
but the kid is not my son

Take this and shut up.
http://www.propofol-lawyer.com/wp-co...80_837489a.jpg

Paula Deen is not my mother
she's just a cook
who claims that I ate a ton
but I'm not even done

I can tap the fingers on my right hand from right to left with ease
and the fingers on my left hand from left to right with ease
but have problem doing the opposite on either hand
I can only deduct that I've been abducted by aliens & given a double hand transplant

Dad's surprise party was a huge success!

Chinky chinky Chinaman, floating down the deleware,chewing on his underwear,couldn't find another pair..

Knowledge of you limitations is some of the best information you can have.

So is proper use of "your."

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showt...51449&page=444
"Man I can't stop farting" is on the 2nd page of Google results with a link to the mod abuse thread.