Eggsactly.....

Yeah...and while he seems to have a hold on it now, his efforts earlier in the day would leave you pining for a frazod return.

This douche contest is BS's personal refrigerator

Nice, SNR bumps this to try to break up the douchebaggery, and it ends up turning into another douche thread. Goddamn douches!

Wood.

I know, right? Rausch is a sexy beast.

Crap, wrong Roush!!! I was thinking about THIS Roush girl on the hood of her car!

http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-oALfjC9fs0...hot-blonde.jpg

nom-nom-nom

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And I'd say you pretty much nailed it, minus the gay lizard stuff, handling packages 24/7, having to ask to go out with the fellas because I ****ING DO WHAT I WANT WHEN I WANT.* And just because I married into a filthy Cornhusker family does NOT mean I go looking for more filthy Cornhuskers to humiliate myself further with. Besides, Bugeater is an avid bicyclist - I wouldn't touch that nutsack with Jim Jones' confused mouth. But I'll have a beer with any of you pissants anytime. I've actually survived a tailgate with Phobia after he had a cleansing cabbage soup regimine the day before (true story. Christ on a stick). Just let me clear it with my house secretary first.








*I'll probably delete this as soon as she reads it, so someone save it for me. TIA

Perhaps this is more accurate?

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I'd hate to know the nightmare images SNR had to wade through to find that pic. LMAO

That was the worst of them. But just so you know, there are a lot of freaks out there on deviantart.

I'm on deviantart!

http://bfett81.deviantart.com/gallery/

Do you know the guy who does the art for these TNG edit videos?

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Deanna Troi should talk about my penis.

She gets really scared when you love being strong

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LMAO Bowser's response was almost as good as the roast.

ROFLROFLROFL

I love her long time.

LMAO

The only reason i ever watched Star trek. ROFL

Troi and 7 of 9 sammich, please.

Her breasts are wonderful works of art. Praise God for a job well done..

She still looks pretty fricken good. :)

http://images5.fanpop.com/image/phot...-1280-1024.jpg

Amen. A classic beauty, that one.

Michelle Forbes is still my favorite TNG babe

Which one was she?

Ensign Ro Laren

http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__...Laren_2370.jpg

Ah yes, the stern one...

We'll get back to toasting people real soon here. Just hit a snag, that's all. End of the semester shit is a nightmare.

This sounds like a hootie post.

howso?

hootie clearly isn't a school type guy

How the **** is Sacc #18?

http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/wen...eason-3-01.jpg

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedi...book_cover.jpg

Ah i see.

He must've been forgotten about and not remembered until after #19 was made.

That shit's creepy man.

Imagine you're sleeping and wake up up in the middle of the night and she's hovering over you with that face?

/shivers.

excuses for not wrapping this up.

LMAO

LMAO that roast reminds me.

WHERE THE **** IS SALAME?

I expected simply red to be higher

The scarier part to me is that her head appears to be 180 degrees turned from her body. Either that or her shirt's on backwards.

Bro

Dude

From the way you describe yourself and your life, I can't at all imagine you sitting down and studying or going to class or anything like that.

SNR - you must admit you can't deny the March by Prokofiev, it's really beautiful.

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Seriously, I listened to that Melissa Joan Hart narration of Peter and the Wolf.

She was still enslaved by Nickelodeon at the time, but man... take an acting class, lady. Do they have those at your high school, for crying out loud?

When I was a junior in high school, I was concertmaster of the Greater Grand Forks Youth Symphony Orchestra when we played Peter and the Wolf. I know it like the back of my hand.

The man was a genius that deserved the cosmopolitan experience that Stravinsky got. Instead, he was forced to wallow under Stalin, nevertheless composing stuff that makes my jaw drop after the 500th time I hear it.

speaking of clay....then you launch into this anecdote about salame

the ****

By the way, Simply Red has NOT seen my penis, but I could have whipped it out at any time when I was in his Audi during the 2010 bash. We also had a gay day on the plaza together.

I loved the roast, but SR is top three poster material. Too low of a ranking.

Also, SR, admit to being the list maker.

It was a First Contact joke. Reeeeaaally subtle, and now that I read it over again, I'm seeing how much of a stretch it was. Whatevs. I roll fast and loose with these roasts. No other way to do it. Can't reach the top if you're unwilling to risk falling to the bottom.

I get it now. Clay = Star Trek. lawl

Brah !

I had to put him there to make room for you, TimBone.

Ha. Ha.

Wanna trade semester end for FYE? I've already done a bunch of it...

Top notch shit man. Top ****ing notch.

ROFL

Right?

I expected some body blows...

6. milkman

http://www.thestar.com/content/dam/t...letterbox.jpeg

Milkman Test of Intelligence

SECTION A- Team direction analysis proficiency
Directions: Select one of the choices for each given scenario

1. Your favorite football team is known for the past 10-15 years for its up-and-down rate of success from year to year and an unfortunate lack of postseason success. They have just fired their head coach. An old, well-respected head coach who has won a Super Bowl in the past two years is considering coming out of retirement to coach for your team. What is your reaction?
A) Excitement about the possibilities and expectations that the streak of mediocrity will end
B) A tempered reaction, but somewhat positive given the other coaching candidates available
C) Dismay, because this coach will not be good enough, or has demonstrated in the past that he is not good enough
D) Dismay, because your ideal candidate, the offensive coordinator from Tokyo Yukata, a team in the semi-professional Japanese Football League, was not hired
E) Anger, because **** you
F) Choices C and D
G) Choices C and E
H) Choices C, D, and E

2. You are the owner of a football team, and it's time to hire a new GM. You have conducted interviews with three candidates. No others interest you, or they are unavailable. Whom do you hire?
A) The guy from outside the system with about as outstanding of a resume that any one guy can have if he has never held the GM position before
B) The guy currently on the team with experience as a former GM, in which he orchestrated a draft trade-up costing his team an entire year's worth of draft picks, all so he could select a RB.
C) The guy you just fired, because you've never known anything different
D) You pull an Al Davis and make yourself the new GM
E) You give GM duties to the current head coach, whose intelligence and sanity is a bit questionable
F) B or **** you
G) D or F
H) None of the above

SECTION B- Player Evaluation Aptitude
Directions: Select multiple choices as asked

3. Given the following available players, select 5 to form the best possible starting offensive line.
a. Larry Bitchardson- A 2nd-year 6th round T/G tweener without much experience in college, but he has great hip movement and seems nice
b. Jade Stith- A veteran C/G tweener with starting experience. Undrafted out of college
c. Sydney Fartapples- A 6th year swing LT/RT with some starting experience. Cheap because nobody else seems to want him
d. Danny Duodenum- Available via trade of a 5th round pick, has little starting experience, but is multi-faceted. Can play any line position, since nobody can seem to figure out what he's good at
e. Albert Denbren- Last year's 1st round pick at LT. Played guard in college, but has the size and maneuverability that you, personally, look for in a LT
f. Seamus McHaggis- Waiver wire pickup option. Veteran RT with some, but not much starting experience. You recall hearing his name called at some point when you watched Sunday Night Football three years ago
g. Dikembe Mu'aclikicliki- Swing guard, acquired last year in a player-for-player trade. Is worthless
h. Lane Dickcloud- Undrafted rookie free agent. Hit somebody really hard in training camp. Played for the NAIA Jizzonme State University, so is quite experienced, but raw in all the right ways. Reaper16 of Chiefs Planet likes him.
i. Lester Spears- Your starting RG for the past 17 years. Has never won shit. Doesn't seem to mind or complain much about it. Can tell you about the time he got to longsnap for Jan Stanerud.
j. Michael Flopmod- A 400 lb man who tried out for the team two weeks ago. Has a great locker room personality.
k. A random undrafted free agent. You'll take your chances (may choose more than once)
l. You'll pay out the ass for an expensive aging player from another team (may chose more than once)

4. Select the three most important qualities from the choices provided in your ideal starting QB
a. 6'2" or taller
b. Can run multiple systems
c. Is bald
d. Throws for around 3500 yards per season
e. Is considered to be in the top 3 greatest QBs of all time in spite of having only won one Super Bowl
f. Has a Jay Cutler arm
g. Has never and will never play a single game without an elite defense because the sun just shines out of his ass

SECTION C
Directions: Answer the question below

5. Are you Milkman? (Y or N)
=============================================
SCORING

Total your score from Section A with the following point values:
1. A) -5 B) 0 C) +2 D) +10 E) +5 F) +12 G) -3 H) -25

2. A) 0 B) +3000 C) -3000 D) +2 E) -2999 F) +10 G) +3 H) 0

Total your score from Section B
3. If you chose b), e), h), i), or k) score +5 points for each player selected
If you chose a), score +5000 points
If you chose c) or d), score 0 points
If you chose f) or g), subtract 3 points for each selection
If you chose j), you are deserving of a name change on your online football forum of choice
If you chose l) one or more times, then kill yourself

4. If you chose a), b), c), d), f), or g), score +5 points for each selection
If you chose e), subtract 500 points

Section A and B subtotal: _______

If you answered "Yes" in Section C, multiply your subtotal by 0
If you answered "No" in Section C, subtract 10,000 from your subtotal
==========================================
RESULTS

-1 or fewer points = You are a dumbass

0 or more points = You are an asshole

I'm going to give you a list of people (like Saccopoo) that you picked ahead of me so you know why **** you forever.

Still some slots left, bro

STFU Someone needs to feign some butt hurt around here.

ROFL Besides, I'm getting roasted in everyone's roast! You brilliant bastard.

I suspect that some people may not be happy with their scores on the Milkman Test of Intelligence

Ya think? You obviously put some work into that one. You delivered!

I can't believe no one commented on the awesomeness of the MM roast.

Well done!

And I'm too ****ing lazy to take that test.

Honorable mention to Lineman Fartapple. He and **** ****erson would be the greatest QB/Lineman combo ever.

If you don't take the test, you're not just a dumbass, but you're a ****ing dumbass.

Alllllright....I'll come back later and take it. Jeeeeeze.....:sulk:

-9973

-5015

then I killed myself.

Srsly????? Your panties are all red!

They fear the wrath!

-2000ish

Great roast I think?

-15,228

Just trying to fit in here!

http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/...05/224/3e1.jpg

That's ****ed up.

And eye opening....

LMAO Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.

I'm a ****ing dumbass, cause there's no way in hell I'm taking that test.

That is some funny shit though.

Asshole.