Tim bone activated...give it a go brah. Name on the way

Whoooohooooo, let's ride ****ers.
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Oh god damn. I was totally joking. Y'all saw how bad my last one was.

Looking at that list, I only know enough about maybe one of them to do a roast, but I'm fairly sure he's somebody SNR would want to fire at.

Too late. Roast away...

Yea, I'm definitely gonna give it a shot. I'm reading into the persons posts and thread starting history now. Only problem with my roasting is that I don't know a lot of folks history. What they're known for. I can only go off what I read in their recent history.

This job went to a noob why?

Because you wouldn't step the **** up.

I spent several years barely even checking in around here. I got the same problem on not knowing a lot of history with quite a few of these folks. So giving me the job would be just as senseless.

Timbone will do ok. Haven't heard from snr lately.

Isn't going off their recent posts the whole reason for this thread? I thought it was the top 100 of 2014 :shrug:

True, but past rep always comes into play

69. Silock

http://i1262.photobucket.com/albums/...psa355c524.png

Hi, I'm Silock Mclure! You might remember me from such threads I've created as "Do you have a bug out bag?," "Anyone do automated Christmas light shows?," and "knock, knock jokes." Don't remember those threads? That's probably because they're boring as ****.

Today, I'll be giving you a lesson on how to be a member of a message board since 2006 and not leave a single lasting impression. All you've got to do is spend most of your time in the Media Center promoting crappy shows such as The Michael J. Fox show, showing your wonderful taste in music by praising shitty “Jolene” covers by Miley Cyrus, or trying to unload all of your awful outdated media equipment on fellow CP'ers. You want a Mitsubishi DLP projector that I paid $1250 bucks for before realizing it was a piece of shit and a terrible purchase seeing as how I could have gotten an actual High Definition TV for less money? I'll sell it to you for $1000 if you'll just reply to one of my threads. How about a pair of discontinued Klipsch floor standing speakers that look like they're straight from the set of an 80's teen house party movie? I'll sell you mine for $400. Don't worry about the water ring stains on the wood, that's just from my protein shake glass sitting on top of it and sweating into the wood.

Yea, I said Protein shakes. I drink them because I work out, brah. I'm a crossfit pro, bud. You'd know that if your pansy ass spent any time in the Fitness thread. Do you even lift, bro? Me and my boys are throwing up weights all day, bro. You know what they say, “The best way to keep fit is humping and pumping.” Here we are stretching out after an intense leg session last week:



Just check out these numbers:



Bench - 365 max

Deadlift - 505 max

Bulgarian Split Squat - 335 max

Military - 275 max

5'11", 185

That's right, I said Bulgarian Split Squat. I bet your candy ass doesn't even know what that is, because you've never seen the inside of a gym, brah. Don’t believe those numbers? Check out this recent video of one of my home workouts:
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/Cp3NctJ53D8" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

That was just a straight squat rep. My favorite exercise is just the normal bench press. Especially when my buddy LewDog spots me. He wears super baggy shorts and doesn't always wear underwear, so every once in a while I get a quick peek at Big Dick and the Twins. It's added motivation.

I’ve even got my younger brother working out:
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/WsQy54p2zQQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

That’s my mom at the end of the video. She doesn’t lift, but she makes the best strawberry protein shakes this side of Lee’s Summit. Don’t worry about the fish tank my brother broke, I’ve been thinking of switching to a Saltwater rig anyways.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to down a whole bag of oranges and critique peoples form in the fitness thread. Remember, “Curls for the Girls, guys. Curls for the girls!”



Side note: I'm number 69, huh?
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Nice job. This skit by Joe Rogan reminds me of Silock. (NSFW - Language)
<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/4Hx_oQwrOzs" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

ROFL

Silock was kinda tough to roast, because two hours ago I literally knew nothing about him. And when I did start reading his posts and threads, I liked the guy. He doesn't say stupid shit, so I had little to work with.