Originally Posted by Saul Good (Post 9716622)

Given that this is a message board, "you had to be there" stories don't work. I'm sure the gay jokes were side-splitting, but if that's the best example of a funny Phobia exploit you've got, it's probably time to stop shitting all over a guy who can actually take a humorous event from real life and translate it into a funny story online.

Originally Posted by tooge (Post 9716717)

Awesome! Back at ya, and that is in no tennis homo type of way at all that I say that.

Originally Posted by Backwards Masking (Post 9716707)

it's amazing he's so OCD but never seems to get too pissed either

my guess is when his kids get older and track mud thru the house, he'll probably calmly help them clean it up, but if they come home with bad grammar grades, we'll see his ugly mugg on the Co. news for trying to flush them down the toilet like that Chinese couple in the news yesterday

Originally Posted by Thig Lyfe (Post 9716730)

this one time i saw a gay guy and i was like "hey why dont u do a gay thing huh" my buddies lol'd pretty hard lol

Originally Posted by Thig Lyfe (Post 9716730)

this one time i saw a gay guy and i was like "hey why dont u do a gay thing huh" my buddies lol'd pretty hard lol

Originally Posted by Simply Red (Post 9716732)

Originally Posted by Simply Red (Post 9716732)

Originally Posted by lcarus (Post 9716736)

lol totally bro lol. I'm gonna go buy an 8 dollar smoothie and totally mac on this fine ass biotch workin the counter at Smoothie King. It's gonna be wicked hot.

Originally Posted by tooge (Post 9716721)

thanks for checking into my popularity. I feel better now that you have validated, or invalidated it or whatever you feel you did.

Originally Posted by Saul Good (Post 9716749)

I'm not trying to take a swipe at you (I know it came across that way). My point is that hootie drives threads, and that's rare. You're a good poster and seem like a good dude, but your threads aren't "must reads". The people who like hootie read his threads for entertainment. The people who hate hootie read his threads to heckle him. The few people who don't really give a shit about him one way or the other read his threads just for the spectacle.

You may well have done all the stupid shit he's done. It's really nothing special. The difference is that he can tell the story in a way that's entertaining.

I've done a lot of the same shit as hootie, but I don't write stories about it for the entertainment of CP, so I'm not a strong poster. If I stopped posting tomorrow, nobody would notice. I don't give rep. I don't post mega-threads worthy of the Hall of Classics. Hell, I don't even have an avatar. There's nothing wrong with just being an average poster, but if you don't drive threads, it's bad form to bitch about those who do.

Originally Posted by Thig Lyfe (Post 9716730)

this one time i saw a gay guy and i was like "hey why dont u do a gay thing huh" my buddies lol'd pretty hard lol

Originally Posted by Saul Good (Post 9716755)

****, man...milk shot right out of my nose reading that...and I wasn't even drinking milk.

Originally Posted by Saul Good (Post 9716657)

Which one of is the fat, divorced drug addict who works at a law firm but isn't an attorney? That's the person who can best answer your "where did it all go wrong" question.

Blasting me for having an attractive family, selling a business I started up on the side, and having a little money has me reeling, btw. You should finish me off with a "you've probably got a huge dong" crack. That'll show me.

Originally Posted by Donger (Post 9716754)

Are you really surprised that Hootie gets attention? There was a kid in my junior high school who had issues with playing with his feces. He'd come back from the bathroom reeking of crap. That got him attention, too.

You seem to be conflating quantity with quality.

Originally Posted by frazod (Post 9716686)

Pootie put some thought into this one. It's nice to see you reciprocate the white knighting for your hero Saul. Let's see:

1. Dad loathed pretty much everything and everybody. He's dead now. Not a shit was given. Rest of the family, at least those that are still alive - just fine. Never got much from dear old Dad - but at least I didn't get the world handed to me on a silver platter and piss it all away by being a drunken ****ing life failure. You claim your parents are wonderful people, and that's really too bad, since they clearly don't deserve to have a piece of shit like you as a son (you would deserved my dad, however - oh, the irony). Hopefully your sister picked up the slack. She'd probably have a cure cancer to fully balance you out, though.

2. Married too young. She "betrayed" me! Meh. I "betrayed" her too. At least I never infected her with an STD. This tactic really doesn't work anymore - it's not like I'm pining for my ex or ever think about her. I'm really pleased with the current one, though. We've been together for 15 years now.

3. And most of my posts, certainly the ones I enjoy the most, have nothing to do with degenerate cowardly scum like you. You just don't pay any attention to those, and since they're largely aimed at good, adult people, seriously, why would you?

4. I'm still fat. Feel better? Wait until your metabolism slows down and the five gallons of cheap swill you ingest every night start to catch up to you. I know what the future has in store for you, Pootie, assuming you have one. It won't be pretty.

I'll give you an "A" for effort, though. Time to crack the second six-pack of the day in celebration! :thumb:

9 POOTIES