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-   -   I have a date. (https://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=164919)

Iowanian 08-27-2008 08:07 PM

You think the OTHER one misrepresented herself?


I can't wait for the report on this advanture to the temple of doom.


Let me predict the post by gochiefs
ahheeem.

"OMG OMG OMG!
so she txted that she wanted all of the sex ALL OF THE SEX and was very interested in anal. I met her at the super 6 motel and ran into the room with a bottle of blue maui and guzzled some down. She was a real Cougar! 40 and everything. She told me to get comfortable, so I started ripping my clothes off. My pants fell down while I was trying to pull a sock off and I got tangled up and fell into the table. She got on the bed, I could almost see her va jay jay through her mountain of thistle muff. I started to climb up the bed to do the deed and get ALL OF THE SEX and she says in this sul-tree voice "so, what do you think of Anal Sex?" and I says "I love some pillaged ass village!!!!

and thats when it happend. Right as I began to enter her.....her Gorilla of a husband jumped from the closet shouting "I Love me some new anal TOO!" And then he rear-ended me and tossed more batons to my behind than an olympic 4x400 trials.

I'm limping, sticky, my ass hurts and I think he peed in my butt....but Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaat DAMMIT I TOUCHED HER VAGIN with my Doofloppy!!!!

I DID THAT BEFORE III!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

"

Hammock Parties 08-27-2008 08:09 PM

OK, that was funny.

She's 24, BTW.

SAUTO 08-27-2008 08:09 PM

wow bad mental picture

Iowanian 08-27-2008 08:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan (Post 4951878)
OK, that was funny.

She's 24, BTW.

According to her Profile...and we KNOW no one massages the truth on the internet.

I'll bet when you go down on her, you'll find that her balls are as big as her adam's apple.

and you'll say "oh what the hell"

Hammock Parties 08-27-2008 08:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Iowanian (Post 4951891)
According to her Profile...and we KNOW no one massages the truth on the internet.

I'll bet when you go down on her, you'll find that her balls are as big as her adam's apple.

and you'll say "oh what the hell"

Just as the true vagina will bring you sex...the false transvestite will take it from you.

You chose...poooooooooorly.

http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/in...0px-Knight.jpg

Hammock Parties 08-27-2008 08:35 PM

Whoooooooooooa!

Quote:

Well hopefully when you start screwing you won't be able to stop. I've never had sex with a virgin before, but the handjobs I've given to less-experienced guys have been quick. Maybe I'm just that good. haha.
...and that pent up feeling...not sure it ever goes away. I feel the same way. haha.

Sure-Oz 08-27-2008 08:37 PM

Damn thats a slut, just better hope its not a dude.. remember DOUBLE bag!

Iowanian 08-27-2008 08:40 PM

take her some safety goggles claythan.

Don't shoot her eye out, Ralphy
http://carpefactum.typepad.com/photo...ry_ralphie.jpg


Has she given you the price list yet?

Phobia 08-27-2008 08:40 PM

I'm guessing she wants you as a member on her private website. For $40 a month she'll tell you whatever you want to hear... via text.

luv 08-27-2008 08:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan (Post 4951978)
Whoooooooooooa!

Reminds me of when a guy's talk is bigger than their performance.

Hammock Parties 08-27-2008 08:47 PM

We're chatting.


http://img213.imageshack.us/img213/97/39974572ta7.jpg

luv 08-27-2008 08:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan (Post 4952039)

Make sure she knows you're working on blowing your load just at the thought of that.

Iowanian 08-28-2008 04:18 PM

I can't wait to compose the chat log that follows a week after claythan's first night of love (not luv)


You know....when he realizes his pickle has more bumps than a puppy's chew toy due to the extreme HPV.

http://www.thepet-boutique.com/image...l/NX934-01.jpg


Of course, a little texture may interest SOME women more...like a wart on your tongue.

The Franchise 08-28-2008 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Claythan (Post 4952039)

This I gotta read.

kstater 08-28-2008 04:21 PM

Can you contract with a 1/2 second insertion?


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