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-   -   Man I could be in trouble.... (https://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=83722)

Phobia 02-23-2004 12:38 PM
Do you really expect us to believe you busted a condom? ROFL

I'll bet that bad boy slid off before you even got it on.

ChiTown 02-23-2004 12:45 PM
The best way to test for std's
 
Hit your penis with a hammer. If it doesn't hurt, you've got a std. If it does hurt, you have another problem altogether. Good luck!

Nzoner 02-23-2004 01:22 PM
There are times I am so thankful I paid heed to Mother's advice.

KCWolfman 02-23-2004 01:27 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
Besides, a condom breaking is a good thing. It gives you a good excuse to shoot it all over her boobies.

"What? You didn't want it inside you, did you?"
Don't you have to have bad funk music playing to do that?

KCWolfman 02-23-2004 01:31 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
Well... if you're one of those guys who wants to go all out.

Showoff.
"all out" when speaking of a money shot begs for a pun to be made, don't you think?

CosmicPal 02-23-2004 01:35 PM
I wouldn't worry 'bout it...

Cosmic shamefully has only used a condom once, and Cosmic has been with quite a few women. I do not have any disease, nor have I impregnated anyone. I do make sure the gal I'm with has full comprehension of the alphabet, spends 90% of her money and time at The Gap, has at least completed the fourth grade, and has plenty of sisters and friends who like to watch. She must also be very good with her hands and likens to scream like a baboon falling out of a tree. If the gal meets all of these criterias, it's a safe bet Cosmic doesn't need a condom, but a full bottle of tequila and some jello.

KCWolfman 02-23-2004 01:49 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
I think a money shot only refers to when it's on her face.

And, yes.
I obviously have not brushed up on porn 101.

ChiTown 02-23-2004 01:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KCWolfman
I obviously have not brushed up on porn 101.
Ehem,

You don't brush, you stroke.

KCWolfman 02-23-2004 01:53 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiTown
Ehem,

You don't brush, you stroke.
Glad to see that at least one person here isn't willing to let a good pun go by.

Thanks Pat.

KCWolfman 02-23-2004 01:53 PM
Oh, and shouldn't you be WitTown now?

Calcountry 02-23-2004 01:54 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KCChiefsMan
I just had sex with some slut I met at a party and after I came I realized that the condom had broke......I'm stressing out like crazy here. WHY AM I SO STUPID WHEN I GET DRUNK!!!! I normally wouldn't have had sex with a slut like her, but I think it's a combination of being really really drunk and had just broken up with my girlfriend...DAMNIT!
What did you do, pull it off and see the hole? Or did it break in action.

Anyways, if you were too drunk to say no to the slut, how is it that you were sober enough to notice the hole in your rubber? :p

KCChiefsMan 02-23-2004 01:57 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by bunnytrdr
What did you do, pull it off and see the hole? Or did it break in action.

Anyways, if you were too drunk to say no to the slut, how is it that you were sober enough to notice the hole in your rubber? :p

because the condom was rolled down all the way down the shaft....

KCWolfman 02-23-2004 02:02 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KCChiefsMan
because the condom was rolled down all the way down the shaft....
Okay, there is a visual I didn't need......

Onto the next thread.

ChiTown 02-23-2004 02:03 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
Too drunk to say no to a slut? I always thought that was a condition of being male. Is it the alcohol that causes it?
Here's the 'thang, relative to hosing down the local turnstile. As males, we use alcohol as the "excuse" that I only did her cuz I wuz drunk. Fact O' the matter is that he prolly would have done her after a shot of cappuccino and a half of a biscotti......

KCWolfman 02-23-2004 02:05 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiTown
Here's the 'thang, relative to hosing down the local turnstile. As males, we use alcohol as the "excuse" that I only did her cuz I wuz drunk. Fact O' the matter is that he prolly would have done her after a shot of cappuccino and a half of a biscotti......
Mmmmm, biscottiiiiiiii

ChiTown 02-23-2004 02:18 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KCWolfman
Mmmmm, biscottiiiiiiii
Turns you on, dunnit?

There aren't any fat skanky hoe's at your place of work, are there?

Stay away from the cappuccino machine just in case.....

Calcountry 02-23-2004 02:22 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiTown
Here's the 'thang, relative to hosing down the local turnstile. As males, we use alcohol as the "excuse" that I only did her cuz I wuz drunk. Fact O' the matter is that he prolly would have done her after a shot of cappuccino and a half of a biscotti......
ROFL

KCWolfman 02-23-2004 02:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ChiTown
Turns you on, dunnit?

There aren't any fat skanky hoe's at your place of work, are there?

Stay away from the cappuccino machine just in case.....
Name any office in the Continental United States in which employees sit 40 hours a week that no fat skanky hoes exist. We have one here who sits out about 40-50 candy bars and chocolate snacks a day - and the damn tray is always empty at 3:00pm. I asked her why she spends so much money on the mini-candy bars and she said she buys in bulk at Sams and hates to waste it. I bit my tongue before I told her that it wasn't wasted merely stored en masse behind her.

Calcountry 02-23-2004 02:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
Mmmmmm, fat skanky hos.
Almost as good as DOOOOOOOOOHNUTS. I mean, they both have holes right?

Calcountry 02-23-2004 02:25 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KCWolfman
Name any office in the Continental United States in which employees sit 40 hours a week that no fat skanky hoes exist. We have one here who sits out about 40-50 candy bars and chocolate snacks a day - and the damn tray is always empty at 3:00pm. I asked her why she spends so much money on the mini-candy bars and she said she buys in bulk at Sams and hates to waste it. I bit my tongue before I told her that it wasn't wasted merely stored en masse behind her.
:( :hmmm: :) :hmmm: lol :hmmm: ROFL :clap: :clap:

Calcountry 02-23-2004 02:30 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
Yeah, but donuts don't have a tongue.
But they are glazed? I really hate the dry ones.
:homer: :doh!:

ChiTown 02-23-2004 02:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
Yeah, but donuts don't have a tongue.
Speaking of tongues.....

KCChiefsMan 02-24-2004 12:25 AM
I still am very stressed about this whole situation, but I'm getting tested on Monday, made the appoitment and I'm hoping for the best, I haven't been able to sleep much since this has happened....I am sorry that I brought this up to all of you, but sometimes this is a good place to vent stress and thats just what I kinda needed

Ebolapox 02-24-2004 12:28 AM
good luck... maybe you can share battle stories with gochiefs

-EBOLA-

Taco John 02-24-2004 01:02 AM
I still can't believe you were more concerned about getting an STD than getting some slut pregnant...

|Zach| 02-24-2004 01:04 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KCChiefsMan
I still am very stressed about this whole situation, but I'm getting tested on Monday, made the appoitment and I'm hoping for the best, I haven't been able to sleep much since this has happened....I am sorry that I brought this up to all of you, but sometimes this is a good place to vent stress and thats just what I kinda needed
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showp...6&postcount=49

Ebolapox 02-24-2004 01:05 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taco John
I still can't believe you were more concerned about getting an STD than getting some slut pregnant...
true that, cardgage

-EBOLA-

KCChiefsMan 02-24-2004 01:42 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Taco John
I still can't believe you were more concerned about getting an STD than getting some slut pregnant...

abortion, adoption

take a pick

KCWolfman 02-24-2004 01:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KCChiefsMan
abortion, adoption

take a pick
As a male, you don't get to pick.

el borracho 02-24-2004 01:49 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KCChiefsMan
abortion, adoption

take a pick
Didn't take the advice from post #30, huh?

Ebolapox 02-24-2004 02:14 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KCChiefsMan
abortion, adoption

take a pick
wolfman's right... you're fucked if she wants to keep it...

just ask KcMizzou about that situation... and I'm sure he's not the only one who's gotten a girl pregnant that he didn't wish to spend any time with other than 'fun time'

-EBOLA-

booger 02-24-2004 02:28 AM
just poke her in the butt next time.
I read somewhere you can't get her pregnant or get the hiv that way.

Ebolapox 02-24-2004 02:29 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
Dude, I understand being a little freaked out and all. But, condoms breaking is part of life.

In all seriousness, if you're really concerned, go back and get tested again in six months. They're gonna tell you that at the clinic anyway. It's possible for you to have contracted HIV and not test positive for it for at least that long.

I get tested for everything at least once a year, just for good measure.

All that said, the chances of you grabbing something from a broard ain't all that great. Think about which way the fluids are flowing there. It's good to be cautious and all, but don't lose a lot of sleep over it. If this is really the first time something like this has happened to you, the stars would really have to be aligned against you for it to bite you in the ass.
the voice of experience

-EBOLA-

Ebolapox 02-24-2004 02:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by booger
just poke her in the butt next time.
I read somewhere you can't get her pregnant or get the hiv that way.
HIV, yes... pregnant, no

-EBOLA-

KCWolfman 02-24-2004 02:30 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by booger
just poke her in the butt next time.
I read somewhere you can't get her pregnant or get the hiv that way.
Yeah there is no virus that would survive in the warm moist confines of an HIV infected, arterial filled colon.

KCWolfman 02-24-2004 02:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
I agree, but I understand where he's coming from. I know you're not much older than me, but maybe you underestimate the amount of scare propaganda was put into people my age about AIDS. It ranks right up there with the crap we got from DARE. Pot will kill you, unprotected sex just one time will kill you.
Funny thing. Eddie Murphy had a stand up show one year called Raw. In it he was whining about herpes. Something to the effect of first you had to get a shot, then they had to scrape your d*ck. Now you get sores and they never go away. One day, they are gonna come up with disease that all you do is stick it in and BAM, you're dead.


Eddie Nostradamus Murphy.

booger 02-24-2004 02:34 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
I agree, but I understand where he's coming from. I know you're not much older than me, but maybe you underestimate the amount of scare propaganda was put into people my age about AIDS. It ranks right up there with the crap we got from DARE. Pot will kill you, unprotected sex just one time will kill you.
If Magic Johnson can get it, we all can. I grew up in that era anyway.

Ebolapox 02-24-2004 02:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
Y'know, I've got a pretty liberal view on things like this... but, that attitude kinda sickens me. I hope you're just being flippant on the board. I poke around a lot, but if I happened to knock a broad up, I certaintly wouldn't have the "Eh, fuck it" attitude. It's a child, man.
true that... stand up and be a man, paul

-EBOLA-

booger 02-24-2004 02:35 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KCWolfman
Yeah there is no virus that would survive in the warm moist confines of an HIV infected, arterial filled colon.
Just don't forget the loob.

If a girl lets you poke her in the butt on the first date (or after a night of boozin) she probably has something anyway.

Ebolapox 02-24-2004 02:37 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
I don't appreciate seeing my friends slandered. I know you didn't intend to, but KcMizzou was married.
I consider bran a friend too... and you obviously realize the reason brandon married the lady in question is because of the 'accident'

so calm down, I'm just making an obvious point that he shouldn't take pre-marital unprotected sex with random women without considering the consequences

-EBOLA-

WebGem 02-24-2004 02:43 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
Y'know, I've got a pretty liberal view on things like this... but, that attitude kinda sickens me. I hope you're just being flippant on the board. I poke around a lot, but if I happened to knock a broad up, I certaintly wouldn't have the "Eh, fuck it" attitude. It's a child, man.
Agreed 100%, if he's just saying that and wouldn't really do that (which I hope would be the case) it's still not even funny to joke around about. Something to think about..

Ebolapox 02-24-2004 02:45 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
I may be fuzzy on the details of his life, but your post was reckless. It suggested that he just knocked up a broad he wanted nothing to do with. A one night stand he hoped would go away. It paints a picture of a person that is definitely not the person I've shared beers with in person.
it's not intentionally reckless, and I can tell you personally that I had no intention of defaming bran... obviously, the woman in question didn't turn out to be the person he thought she was after long-term... from what he told me (haven't had the chance to meet up with bran yet, as I had to work the night he invited me to his bro's house to play video games), he tried to make things work with the girl in question, and she obviously wasn't what he thought she was... the fact that he married her gives me respect for him, as that's prolly what I'd do (that's just how I was raised), or at least own up for the children...

man, how did this turn into a back/forth on bran's ex??

-EBOLA-

Ebolapox 02-24-2004 02:46 AM
oh, and the 'he' two posts ago or so was referring to paul... kcchiefsman

-EBOLA-

KCWolfman 02-24-2004 02:47 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
I may be fuzzy on the details of his life, but your post was reckless. It suggested that he just knocked up a broad he wanted nothing to do with. A one night stand he hoped would go away. It paints a picture of a person that is definitely not the person I've shared beers with in person.
Brandon is easy. I saw two guys pick him up after only a couple of beers.

Ebolapox 02-24-2004 02:56 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
I know, man. I know. Hence the "I know you didn't intend it" in my original reply.

Just thought the post painted KCM in a bad light, and wanted to clear the air for the bystanders.
fair 'nuff

it's too damned early in the morning here though, maybe I should just go back to typing up the damned paper I'm working on and waste time on here tomorrow... hmmm

-EBOLA-

Ebolapox 02-24-2004 03:09 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by ENDelt260
It's all good, dude. I know you're a good kid. Just didn't wanna see people think less of Bran. Never meant anything negative against you.
gracias

-EBOLA-

Ultra Peanut 02-24-2004 04:05 AM
Screw this feckin' lovefest...

teedubya 03-12-2004 10:06 AM
so what is the status on this situation??? Is is safe to call you "Dada" yet?

chiefs4me 11-18-2004 01:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by KCChiefsMan
I just had sex with some slut I met at a party and after I came I realized that the condom had broke......I'm stressing out like crazy here. WHY AM I SO STUPID WHEN I GET DRUNK!!!! I normally wouldn't have had sex with a slut like her, but I think it's a combination of being really really drunk and had just broken up with my girlfriend...DAMNIT!


YOU screw up, and then if she does get pregnant,,,,you say abortion or adoption,,,you stupid :cuss: I hope god never gives you any children, and what makes you think she was the slut,,,sounds to me like you where the whore,,,,

jollymon 12-08-2004 03:02 PM
Which is why I don't use condoms when I am drinking. Duh! I mean they always seem to break when you are drinking....Mercy sakes....


Oh and honey if you are reading this from home, I was just talking out my tail, making a funny :D

Eleazar 12-13-2004 10:20 AM
I dont recall seeing this thread before for some reason, but... pathetic :shake:

WebGem 04-23-2005 11:51 PM
Why on God's Earth did I get rep from gochiefs on this thread on the 15th and 13th of this month?

Nightfyre 05-09-2005 05:57 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rausch
Ignorance is not the answer to the question....



That said, I've done the same thing 100x's.....never got a kid or a disease. But given the choice, at least the disease would have the common courtesy to kill me.

Kids just keep you broke, tired, and busy for 40 years.... :shake:
:hmmm: ....

Bowser 09-28-2013 04:52 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenny Gump (Post 1576952)
Why in the hell would you get on here and tell us something like that? I highly doubt you screwed anything but your hand.

But if I am wrong, you better go get your penis probed by your doctor. That's the price you pay for being a moron.
Apparently this is the very first positive rep I ever gave out. Interesting.


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