yo quiero taco bell!

I would have expressed disgust that someone stole your stuff.
Then I would have offered to let YOU use my stuff, all year long if you like....as long as you return it.

After the ex took off with Bob Dole's Rottie, Bob Dole wanted something a little more portable.

How could you not love that face?

are you sure that thing's not a hamster?
sec

Thanks for a good laugh Bob. Good post.

Oh yeah, BTW - fug 'em.

Any chance you can hire a very old decrepit man with a walker to act like he is trying to mow the yard when the prospective holy man comes to town. You could even have him stage having a stoke.

Or
Perhaps you could make your yard very tidy but plant some flowers in some sort of satanic design right in the middle.


Oh the possibilities.

Maybe you can make a big cross out of beer bottles as a welcome.

I like the idea of a goat as a lawn mower.

Of course as has been pointed out. If ya had a real dog you might not have lost all your lawn equipment in the first place.

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by e_train69
What is a Chihuahua?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Snack food for a great dane!

for little dog bashers...
 

Taco

You be the judge. Does Bob Dole's lawn look all that bad?

http://www.cableone.net/sloat/BobDoleHouse.jpg

My dog is part chihuahua, part border collie....

a salute to any chihuahua that lives the dream

Yeah... I guess his father was an ambitious Chihuahua that snuck under the fence...


Here he is lying in bed with his kitty...

Here's another shot of the Border Collie/Chihuahua mix...


His name is Ollie.

Portable my butt......ROFL :LOL: That little shit won't let anyone near it but the Senator......Hum, tell you anything......:eek:

What the hell are you trying to say? There's not a person here that's been within 5 miles of Bob Dole's dogs.

Senator I just love your sense of humor. :D

"Old guy: "Good...good. Has anyone mention that we has a prospective new minister coming in to visit this weekend?"
I regret not reading Bob Doles story sooner....very funny. Just wondering if anyone questioned why someone would want a new minister, that would be swayed by their physical surroundings rather than swayed by the needs of others?
Thought of this scripture since it seems to apply to Bob Doles story.
"Of what benefit is it, my brothers, if a certain one says he has faith but he does not have works? That faith cannot save him, can it? If a brother or a sister is in a naked state and lacking the food sufficient for the day, yet a certain one of YOU says to them: "Go in peace, keep warm and well fed," but you do not give them the necessities for their body, of what benefit is it? Thus, too, faith, if it does not have works, is dead in itself."-James 2:14-17

PS. Interesting, one of my best friends who's name is also "Bob", raises those little street rats too. Still cant figure out what the attraction is about them. :D

Mariconi


Love the logo. IMO it wouldbe perfect if you could see more of the Arrowhead and make the World Red and Gold.
Love it though,fantastic!!!

good story senator...

FWIW, I would have already killed all of the grass and installed astroturf...

If I were your neighbor, I wouldn't be nearly as worried about the length of your yard grass as I would be about the fact that you raise mutant cats disguised as dogs...

thats just nuts...

I really need to learn to stop drinking when reading one of Bob Doles's threads.

Of course, having met the Senator made it even funnier.

:D

MM
~~Cleaning Pepsi off his screen ... and keyboard ... and dog ... and ...

That adds to the humor for me as well.

Sorry to hear about your lawn equipment, Bob. I just received a letter in the mail last week form my neighborhood association. They said that if i didn't mow my yard, they would have it done and bill me. Two things that piss me off about the letter...

1. No one on my street is as anal about their lawn as me. I put a lot of time and money into my yard. It isn't my fault that the two houses on each side of mine mow their yard too often and too short. It makes mine look tall, when it is actually the correct length.

2. On the top of the letter it said "FINAL NOTICE". That was the first and only letter they have ever sent me.

I was forced to pull out a copy of the neighborhood rules and regulations. I now have a list of all my neighbor's violations, just in case the association tries to stir up more shit on me.

Ohhh... You live in one of <b><i>those</i></b> neighborhoods.

Bob Dole had the same "neighbors scalp their lawn" situation when Bob Dole was a homeowner. It was always pretty funny when July rolled around and Bob Dole's lawn was green, while theirs looked like some dirt and straw.

I love the goat idea. I used to have an Angora goat ranch and had 300 nannies. (I put colorful ribbons on the pretty ones) Goats clip off the grass rather than pull it up like sheep. Don't like the concrete/tire idea though. Just drive a 6' length of re-bar into the ground and chain the goat to it. Move goat as needed.

I must admit, that is rather funny.


Personally Bob, from the church perspective, I do believe I'd have taken a different approach on the matter. Several options come to mind -

Option #1 - one of which you had to mention TOO him (:shake:) is to show up with mowers, weed-eaters and such, ring the doorbell and say, "Hello Sir, since it is early spring and many people haven't gotten the opportunity to get their yard equipment going yet, so we are going around to homes in the neigborhood this week fixing up their yards for them if they would like. Yours looks like it would take these fine men about 30 minutes to knock out all you gotta say is go fo it.

Option #2 - Who cares about your yard, when we are showing the new preacher around the church, if he points out your house tell him that that guy is a decent enough guy. His house might be agood place for the minister to visit.

Option #3 - (as a minister) I show up with the deacons (similar to #1 above) they mow the yard while we sit on the porch and supervise the work while we chat about the Planet and such.


I don't really see anything wrong with your perspective. Basically what that church has done is told you and every other neigbor that you aren't up to their standards when they critique like that. I have a hard time with folks like that. It is sorry that they had to act that way.

Please don't get the impression that Bob Dole is somehow "against" the church because of the incident. Bob Dole just thought it was a little odd, and would have expected something more along the line of the options you outlined.

Bob Dole ain't there any more and the new lawn takes about 30 minutes, front and back. Bob Dole has been mowing twice a week for about 8 weeks now, and spent two days removing overgrown brush and crap that had accumulated over the years. The neighbor to the south mowed their front yard (not the back) for only the second time this season early this morning. Everything is relative, and Bob Dole's lawn is looking pretty darned good at this point. Heck, the neighbor to the north already commented a couple of weeks ago that Bob Dole is making everyone look lazy by tending the lawn so frequently.

Ahhh... The single life.

Don't worry Bob. I'd probably acted the same way you did - except for the part where you were nursing your bottle while talking to him.:)

If Bob Dole isn't at work, Bob Dole is almost always nursing one thing or another. :p

What a crackup. I am with the pastor on this. They were out of line. Keep us posted on their decision to take care of your lawn. You just might be on to something. If they are so concerned about your yard you can sit on your ass all summer and let them handle it.:toast:

You tell a good story Bob Dole. You should've ask the elderly gentelman if he would have the congragation pray for an answer to your lawn crisis. Better yet you coulda had him kneel with you on the porch (with bud in your hand) and pray for an answer.

PhilFree:arrow:

Bob Dole's tale would make a fine scene for a Cohen Brothers movie.

I'm picturing a severely disheveled Nicholas Cage in the role of Bob Dole.

That is the part I agree with.....But knowing you, you did that to aggitate them further. ;) But son, time to buy a lawn mower and whatever you need, or get a goat. That should really get them if it was tied up out front eating the grass....ROFL

give the neighbor kid a few bucks,

It'd be practically gift wrapped. All they'd have to do is supply an ending.

I'd like a sort of surreal ending. I'm thinking Bob Dole walking off into a Kansas prairie at sunset while the Pastor is offing prairie dogs in the background. "Funny How Time Slips Away" is the soundtrack music.

Bob
I'm think a big sign in the front yard, like used lawn equipt. wanted or will work for food to...better get busy the preacher will be there in a few hours..lol

classic thread..... absolutely classic

-EBOLA-

stay tuned..conjureman suspects there are more episodes to follow....Dabney Coleman in the role of the new minister!

Bob Dole finally got the used Toro and a new Poulan weedeater and moved to a neighborhood that hasn't gone to shit. Bob Dole is enjoying the small lawn, and keeps it very nice, thank you.

Ain't it though???
 

....... a year + later and I still LMAO reading this.

Nice lawn Bob Dole.

Where is the Directv dish? On the back of the house? You work for the cable company, huh?

I love reading your rants. Specially how you can get creative with
description words on people.

Good luck used Toro man with your lawn and neighboorhood.

Nice minivan there Senator.

That would be the neighbor's minivan. Bob Dole's drive was on the left.

Likely story.