My wife will always be a 10 to me... After 23 years she is still smoking hawt as the day I first met her... And after all these years and 2 kids, her body still gets me to :drool:....

Yeah but a PIsister already got you and geez do you two seem happy together. My mother has one too but I don't know how much was factory and how much were upgrades.

Individual results may vary...

ROFL

Well there is that...

Ugh, I think I had to take her out to a nice dinner or some shit if I lost.

LMAO

Buffet?

Oh wow. This is great. LMAO

yes pls

Did you know the bikini bridge stuff started out as a hoax, Katipan?

Never crossed that bridge. After she mentioned sex I tried to make things as awkward as possible to get her to leave. I won't fall in that trap again.

So....did she swallow or spit?

Both doable but the second girl has a rocking body...

You are a grown man, right?

Doesn't mean he wants to groan, man...

Im lucky in the sense that my wife is tall. Even when she gains weight, it distributes nicely.

Body type: a little extra, curvy, a few extra pounds
 

Co-signed. But she could lose a few pounds /Omaha

Meh.. I'd break that second one, and I'm not even a porker. She's far too skeletal for me.

:)

I stay in shape and see nothing wrong with wanting my partners to do the same. But we're all attracted to what we like. It's a great system especially since your interests don't conflict with mine/Godfather...

I had my fill of banging skinny hippie chicks back in my youth. Give me one with a little meat on those bones, I bruise easily in my old age. As far as BJs go, the worst I ever had from either a skinny or more endowed woman was wonderful.

No fat chicks.

I'm (literally) a big fat hypocrite for saying that, but fat is just disgusting to me.

How dudes treat fat chicks:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2alnVIj1Jf8


How chicks treat fat dudes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iUy3_kBme4M

Fat chicks give good head because they're always hungry.

Dude's ****ing around in a fat suit and getting more action than Discuss Thrower.

True. Not that I would know or anything... I mean... gross. :hmmm::harumph:

You are the expert at hooking up with fat chicks.

.... I cannot even right now...

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Why don't fat chicks wear appropriately sized clothing? Most (but not all unfortunately) fat guys will do their best to keep that shit covered up. Husky girls one the other hand will squeeze into the smallest shirt they can find and just let the fat-back fly.

You always hear how self conscience women are about their bodies. I just don't understand it.

Skinny girls like to tell themselves they are fat.

Fat girls like to eat all your food and tell themselves they are skinny.

I think it all started with dress numbers. Women would get fixated on being a 4 or 6 rather than wearing something flattering. You can blame the all consuming competitiveness between women for cock.

Then I think it shifted to a **** you we're going to wear whatever the hell we want and if you don't like it you hate women attitude.

Now it's all Nicki Minaj's fault.

Nicki Minaj's ass is fat.

More importantly she says stuff like...

"**** all these skinny bitches, I want to see my fat bitches up in here." /paraphrase




There will literally never ever ever be a female President.

LMAO

But Meghan Trainor though...

She needs more than one song in order to affect real social change. At least 2. Or a domestic abuse charge.


Also, yoga pants. Boy was that a blessing and a curse all rolled up into one.

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ROFL ROFL - the looks Larry and Jerry exchange after Jerry says 'trust your gut.'

And saying ridiculous ish like I hate kids and dogs.

I mean I'm all for people being as healthy as possible and what a healthy size is varies from person to person.

My problem with "All About the Bass" is that people are going to miss the point of it entirely.. And the very, VERY large people in the country will wear their obesity as a badge of pride.

On yoga pants I had a religious experience the last semester I spent at MSU when a sorority girl walked into class one morning. Oh. My. ****. Her legs and booty were just PERFECT.

Threads like this are why I love CP.


My grandpa always told me to marry a fat ugly woman because a good looking chick will always get constantly hit on and eventually will leave you do to all the available options.

I said a fat ugly chick can leave you too, and he said yea but who gives a shit.

Yoga pants are basically the clothing version of tequila.They make good things better and bad things worse.

It makes me cringe whenever women encourage a division between us. There are those skinny girls over there and there are those fat girls over there and we'll all lead our lives but dont forget which group youre in.

Stupid. All for what? Because we think we might have some idea of what you may or may not find attractive at this current point in your life and maturity?

Be able to climb a ****ing mountain and walk up stairs. Everything else is just icing.

Something I don't eat anymore. GOD DAMMIT.

I HATE that song with a passion hotter than a thousand suns.

Seems to me that the issue is a total lack of acceptance for the idea that different body sizes can be healthy.

You tell me how to fix that and I'll make it a mission.
I usually succeed at things I attempt.
Er, eventually.
Maybe with help.
Lots of help.
Sometimes.

LMAO

Perfect.

There is a great deal of wisdom in those words.

I would rather do that than read a De berg thread

Geez.

Mine.

I am a LUCKY MFer.

My woman makes my dick hard every day just by looking at her.

We've been together for 5 years, and don't have one shred of evidence that she has ever lied to me.....Ever.

She makes a lot of money.

And she ****ing LOVES me.

That is the shit you cannot buy, my friend.

This guy was complaining about how his woman got fat as **** on him.

I said tell her to walk 3 miles a day for a week.

He said I don't think that will make her lose much weight.

I said who gives a shit she'll be 20 miles away by Sunday.

I think it's called being comfortable with who you are. Just seems bigger girls are better with it than fat guys. And who wants to see a hairy fat belly? CP please keep your shirts on.... Well except Katipan!

LMAO

She's good in bed, too.

And there's that thing she does.. y'know.. with her finger? God I love that.

Good for you man.

I didn't take my grandpas advice anyway.

Possibly because he never actually said that.

Lucky you.

Super skinny guys aren't usually so much fun in bed. They can't toss you around. You can't sit on their chest. Nothing worse than hip bone banging hip bone. They have to compensate with other skills or kink. Super big guys aren't so much fun. You can't straddle, or breathe, or move, or call for help. Plus, how much doggy style can you really do without your eyes starting to drift to the TV? They have to compensate by... well, according to CP, they last longer.

Somewhere in between is where Goldilocks would look. And that's a very vast area of cock.

All this. Though length is a given girth seems to receive the most accolades...

Psh, I can't doggy style without wanting to pop within 30 seconds. Hell, that was the only way I could get it from my ex girlfriend: I'd drill her for a good 10 minutes and be nowhere near popping and she'd agree to take it from behind just so I'd finish before the next sunrise.

T to the M to the I. And this is from a guy who hasn't been to sleep yet...

...I've never been asked to agree.

what. the. ****.

Sow I'd ****

I agree. It's a hassle to stop and take the gag out.

Girl was kinda repressed and not a fan of anything more than missionary sexy time wise. The only way she'd give me head is if I had something covering my eyes so I couldn't watch her.

Per a study from the last couple years, skinny guys last 2, fat guys 7.

Of course, they spend the first five minutes looking for their dick so it all evens out.

Where did you get those pictures of my woman?


Take them down!!!!!!

Body descriptors tend to be really bad. I propose that all online dating, game design, and other sites go with my simple four-dimensional system.

Enter one of five fat levels:

1 - Little or no fat at all.
2 - No excess fat.
3 - Minor excess fat.
4 - Notable excess fat.
5 - Significant excess fat.

Enter one of five muscle levels:

1 - Very little muscle, no definition.
2 - Minor muscle with no definition.
3 - Moderate muscle with minor definition.
4 - Large muscle with notable definition.
5 - Very large muscle with significant definition.

Enter one of five frame types:

1 - Very narrow.
2 - Somewhat narrow.
3 - Moderate.
4 - Moderately broad.
5 - Very broad.

Enter one of five heights:

1 - Significantly shorter than average
2 - Somewhat shorter than average
3 - Roughly average
4 - Somewhat taller than average
5 - Significantly taller than average

You can then plot the measures on a radar plot and understand exactly how the person is built. I've provided three examples below.

OOOo How you doin'??

... I think?

Makes sense. Not counting about 3 exceptions worldwide, men are disgusting creatures (fat or skinny).

Women just hide their true feelings better. None of those chicks had any intention of ever talking to that guy ever again. Most likely they put up a facade for fear of making the situation worse.

Men win points for honesty.

Good try, but alas, that is not correct. LMAO

Secret internet fatty.

Its better to be honest than lead someone on like the ladies in the other video. Also keep in mind the chick lied about her looks so the trust was already out the window.

Apparently I need to gain like 75 pounds.

Pretty awesome the girls didn't just up and leave like those guys did though.

You've really gotta watch the "fat chick" angles too, I'm learning. Nothing worse than thinking you're meeting up with a hot chick and then finding out she's a true SIF
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You go hoggin DP?

These two posts are funny for totally different reasons.