Okay so we are getting ready to leave and she is all like, "Oh Matt I don't want to drive my car because it has a busted taillight, can you take me home?"

I'm guessing you told that bitch to walk?

I knew that this really meant, "Oh Matt I want your hot body, will you come home with me?"

LOL I should have told her to beat it.

Anyways....

Do you still have the stache?

She got in my car and I was like, "Listen here. We aren't done drinking yet, we are going to a cheaper bar though." She replied, "but I don't have any money." I responded, "Are you kidding me? You don't have to act like you don't know that I am going to pay for you."

Hell yes I still have the stache.

We got to this dive bar around maybe 9:00 pm and drank there for about an hour and a half to two hours. We also listened to the Jukebox.

She wants the stache and the cash.

So now I am driving her home and the whole time I was just thinking to myself that I just want to get home and fall asleep. We get to her place around 10:45 pm.

The second we walk in the door she is like, "Can you do me a huge favor?"

She always asks me this and its always something stupid like getting her a Coke from the kitchen when I'm already in there, so I say, "sure."

She said, "I need you to grab yourself a beer and a pipe and your weed and come upstairs with me while I wash my hair."

She wants you to steal her a baby?

Oh thats way hotter.

I was like, "ok I think I can do that for you."

I don't know if she wanted me to take a shower with her or what, but thinking back on it, that's probably it.

I ended up smoking a bowl of chronic right outside the bathroom and got so ****ing high that I thought I was going to have a heart attack.