Tales from last night pt. 9

I can only remember 8 interesting things from last night

Unpossible.

Irregardless.

Like trying to fight a land war in Asia.

I've racked my brain, I know that there was more than 8 things from those 24 hours, I just need more time to think.

My god I am about to poop so good.

Shouldn't one of y'all be getting laid right now?

I'm pretty sure I got laid today. I wasn't paying attention to the time at the time. I definitely JO'd today though.

I think I'm the only person in the world who could be tired after what I did today.

My day didn't get started until 6 pm when I took a shower, went to the bar, left by 9:30, went to eat a burrito, and got home around 10:30. I'm about to fall asleep and its only 11:40.

Have to help a complete stranger (friend of a friend) move tomorrow, glad to be doing something productive tomorrow.

Cannot believe I got ****ing stood up tonight.

****ing sucks. I will never, EVER do that to someone.

That is ****ing gay. ****ING GAY.

Shit happens sometimes man.

You just gotta ****ing go stalk the chick outside of her house and throw rocks at her windows. I've heard that works.

Ya know what? fuck you! Yes, I think that was a filter violation.

I feel like a snitch.

What up bitches.

Who'd you rat on?