You can't go to bed tonight saying you haven't learned anything.

I am thinking he goes pretty soon

I will cut you.

These are just numbers anymore, no longer a ranking. The proof is simple. Me. :)

Further proof...

Whatever you wanna tell yourself so you can live with the shame of Clay being ranked higher than you.

You did a great job, Red, but there's so much more that could have been mined from Jehovah's Witness, virgin, WPI, multiple bannings, multiple name changes, massive immaturity, being a scofflaw to internet dating, banging GILFS and so on.

That's a pretty good roast of kcnaive, dreck....probably more accurate if you'd have put that gif into a cold shower first.

LMAO

I would enjoy another roasting, especially by you.

BTW it's ex-JW, let's please get it right.

This sounds like a euphemism.

I'm not angry. Merely disappointed.

If I can find the time, it would be fun. Not hurtful (much like Donger's) but fun.

Donger's roast was hurtful?

Other than the odd punchline here or there, it was 100% true. Teedub's a hardcore tin-foil-hatter.

It is not. Are you denying virtual pets exist in your web-world?

Oh, Clay is definitely ranked higher than me. Love him or hate him, there isn't a single member here who provides more enjoyable Chiefs material than he does. The videos, the gif threads, the incredible trolling of rival fans. He's top 3. Maybe tops period. I know people will gnash their teeth over this post, but it's the honest to God's truth.

I'm pretty sure he was saying his would be non hurtful like Donger's.

This is the location I would be inserting the gif from tw's newscast "like whoa"

You know what I hate?

I hate it when characters on TV or in movies say the same thing twice for cheap emotional effect.

"I believe so, lad.

...

I believe so."

:facepalm:

For the record, I think that the roast idea is brilliant, but believe it or not, I'm not a fan of hurting someone's feelings during the roast.

All this "He's fat, they're fat", blah, blah, blah is cheap. Cheap laughs. Not funny.

It's like saying "You're bald, it's so funny". Well, it's not.

I know, D. I know.

Yeah. I'm just chilling, bro. I don't even play FPS games.

This is guaranteed to bite me in the ass later. The fat jokes directed at me don't bother me nearly as much, not nearly as much (haha, couldn't help it, D) as the threads about fat people in general. They used to really bug the shit out of me. Not so much anymore, because I have grown old enough to realize that everyone is ****ed up in their own way, mine is just much easier to spot. :D

Simply Red and I have been hitting the clubs lately, btw.

http://i831.photobucket.com/albums/z.../clubber01.jpg

I've had a couple of spectacular zingers on you between here and FB the past few days.

Here's what's really uncool and somewhat weird about that: We're on an internet forum. We're faceless, unless we decide to share a picture. Someone that would use a picture shared in this forum against someone as punchline, is uncool.

IMO, there are qualifiers as well. Some people in this forum are 20 years old. Some are 40 years old. Some are 60 years. Weight often has more to do with age, metabolism, time, work and family needs that it does with vanity, but genetics also play a large role.

I'm 47 years old. When I was 30, I could eat four double cheeseburgers a day, eat a bag of Lay's, drink 12 beers, work out 2 hours a week and have a 31 inch waist. At age 35, I started to notice that my waist varied between 32-34, so I started working out more and watching what I eat. By 40, I had to work out even more and really watch what I eat. Today, I eat next to nothing, have NO time to work out and just barely maintain my weight and can't wait until the day comes that I can spend 6 hours a week in the gym/walking/hiking/biking again.

Most people work their asses off, spend as much time as they can with their children and families and don't have time to think about diet and exercise. They're more concerned with providing for their families. And when they do, they'll eat healthy for as long as they can, until some obstacle inevitably comes along to prohibit them from doing so. As so many know, one day can mess you up, big time.

It's not a character flaw. It's not something that should be chastised. And it's certainly not funny.

You've been on your A game for sure. A couple of those, I was actually proud of you. :D

We should all follow Dane's example, and be super nice to people.

I love you, dude.

I mean, ****, I lost a shit ton of weight, and made a ton of horrible decisions to put all of it back on. Started drinking way too much, all sorts of shit. And it really doesn't bug me at all like it used too, because I did it this time. It wasn't something that had just always been there as long as I could remember. It used to really bug the shit out of me.

The one thing this place has done for me that has been the most beneficial is it's thickened my skin. Not enough, but I'm working on that.

The buffet line was first rate. I expected to get chastized by people for that.

As far as the making fun of weight thing, or baldness etc. It depends on the poster. If the person is generally not an a-hole then it's probably tacky. If the person is a poster that's always telling people they're a dumbass or ridiculing other people's jobs, personal traits etc. then whatever. Fair game.

ROFL I thought you were going to be chastised for that. What can I say? All of my FB friends are assholes.

There are other circumstances - if the two parties are friendly and it's good-natured... Also if both parties are large...

I'm going to defriend you for this.....

Both true. Intent is everything, and as a fatass, I have no problem telling someone else they're a fatass.

Asshole...

What the **** is vegetable protein?

If I defriend you do I become a nice person?

Quinoa, for one

14g of protein in 368 calories of that stuff. ROFL

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quinoa

If you want protein, eat meat.

I didn't realize that you've become a nutritionist.

:facepalm:

Next, you're going to tell that kale is garbage, too, right?

If you want protein, eating Quinoa seems to be a rather inefficient way to do it.

I can get double the protein in a 130-calorie shake.

You don't really eat a bowl of quinoa, at least I don't. I just have it mixed in a salad or sometimes put some in a stuffed pepper or something. You don't really notice it's there. In my opinion, if you can actually taste it much you put too much in and it's gross.
Thing is, to cook a serving right it seems like I have to make enough for like 5 people so I end up tossing half of it out.

<iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/B6o5HXkR4YQ" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Not anymore...

Q

Ignore that shit, just drink ON Whey.

If you want to get a serving of vegetables just drink V8.

With vodka?

Hey dude, I take Facebook pretty seriously I've been told. Sure you want to do that?

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Dude, you would be freaking awesome at doing these.

61. Reighters

Reighters is debt free and proud. Of course that is easier to achieve when you lived 5 years in a Big Rig at the local garbage dump. Seriously though, he's upgraded since then to a nice trailer and was even recently made Asst. Trailer Park Supervisor. A firm believer in "The way of the road", he doesn't have time to stop to take a leak, so he uses milk jugs. He can be seen firing his dirty old piss jugs out the window or even around the park when he gets home.

The road certainly has it's perils and it gets lonely sometimes. As a truck driver, sometimes his shipments come in handy though. After acquiring a "gift" from a local lot lizard named Big Bertha, that delivery of Valtrex was a lifesaver.

Pros: Makes a mean swish. Piss jugs are efficient. Bacon flavored condoms.

Cons: He's a Raider fan of course he is. Vinegar based BBQ. Garbage juice gives the shits.

Outlook: Piss jugs, lot lizards, and last place finish for the Faid oh my.

Have you seen your roast yet? :p

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_KI9gcT8Agi...k%20crying.gif

Haha honestly, I thought you did better at this than I was guessing someone was going to do at it, if it were to happen. I think Dane would have done well because he is brilliant/funny. I thought Clay would have done well for the dude is creative, funny as shit and reads everything. TimBone, I thought had an outside chance because he "reads every word." I thought you did well and pretty much thought you would prior to, for we seem to think the same shit is funny.

One thing is for sure, when you post, "tl;dr," I am going to think to myself "yeah right," because some of the stuff you posted such as; Mrs. Swaff (I think any time I've mentioned that part of my last name, it has been in the middle of a long, rambling post) and the family reunion 2nd cousin thing (which I assume was a reference to the brass-knuckle beat down I received from a dude who I saw at a family reunion a couple years later, where we found out our grandmothers were sisters). Haha, both of those references were in the middle of long, rambling posts...that you probably responded to with, "tl;dr." ROFL

However, I do have some thoughts where you were off a bit, homie. (insert Austin Powers Goldmember pic here) I'll get to those after class or during my next break. Good job though, dudely.

Glad you liked it. I like my roasts short and sweet. The ones I have done have really only taken like 2-3 minutes. I just pick a name and go off what I remember about the poster.

Oh, no one knows what works best for you more than two previously fat guys on the internet who discovered the keto diet.

If you are eating next do nothing your metabolism will drop to match your caloric intake so that's not the best way to go. Obviously a lot of factors can contibute to a rise in weight, but if you REALLY give a shit about not being fat than most likely you won't be fat. The two most accomplished body builders in my gym are your age and they still compete at a high level. One is competing this month for his third NPC Missouri title. I'm just not a fan of excuses.

If you are going to cut cals like that at least take something to keep your metabolism up. 7-Keto seems to be very safe and have studys backing it up. There's also no up and down crash like you get stimulants normally used in weight loss pills. http://www.livestrong.com/article/52...a-weight-loss/

Green tea, or the extract is also a favorite of mine for several reasons.

that is funny as hell because it is soooo true. Sounds exactly like me. Life gets in the way of working out, and metabolism tries hard to keep making you buy bigger jeans. I've maintained the size I am now for years, but it is more and more difficult. I can't wait till I have time to work out again.

I was referring to Clay and the other CP nutrition expert, Buck..... from meeting you in person, I never would have assumed that you've been overweight at any time in your life.

I eat the shit out of Quinoa. I cook it, and add sautéed veggies to it. It's delicious

The quinoa is? You must have more a taste for it than I do. As a stand alone, to me, it's not edible. It has to sort of be a rider in the dish.

it taste like teh oatmealz wit nutz

http://i43.tinypic.com/al2lvq.gif

I'll roast Simply Red.

60 more to go fellas..

That's fine.

http://i44.tinypic.com/s4ylpt.gif

I just cook it as it is, then sauté veggies in olive oil, add some lemon juice, salt and pepper, and capers, and basically dump it all onto the quinoa. It's like rice but with protein. It's very tasty

No, I've changed my mind. I will not roast you.

I eat it with honey and cinnamon in a bowl