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-   -   The list of 85 by Roastmaster Saul Good. And hey, it's actually saul good. (https://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=273212)

Mr. Flopnuts 05-26-2013 12:36 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9710538)
I'm actually more mature these days.

I had to retire my two favorite moves:

The GDL and the shirt trick.

GDL: (Grab, dip, lick). You grab a girl (not aggressively, just to get her attention)...she turns around. You then dip a few fingers in her drink, and then lick said fingers...and then compliment her for her drink choice.

Popularity scale of move: 1 out of 10. They hate it.

the shirt trick: you see a pretty girl sitting at the bar...you approach her from behind...and then jump over her head with your shirt....only keep said shirt over her head for less than 2 seconds otherwise they get really, really, really, really mad instead of just really mad

popularity scale of said move: 0 out of 10

ROFL How many times have you been punched or beaten in a bar?

Hammock Parties 05-26-2013 12:36 PM
Did you ever bang a girl with either move?

splatbass 05-26-2013 12:37 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Branden Albert's Huge Balls (Post 9710248)
There's a risk, and that is a fact.

**** that shit.
There is a risk in everything you do. One of the highest risks is driving a car. Much higher risk of death than dropping acid. Do you ride in cars?

Hammock Parties 05-26-2013 12:38 PM
I picture Hootie busting out a long N on his N-bomb.

Hootie 05-26-2013 12:38 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts (Post 9710540)
ROFL How many times have you been punched or beaten in a bar?
Never.

Dude I look like a big guy. I'm a pussy, but I look pretty tough being 6'3" and 200 lbs.

also

my friends are just ****ing massive

but I have made many a boyfriend really mad

and when they approach me I immediately try and touch their penis or tell them how strong I think they are and start petting them

I've learned this makes them really mad.

or one time this guy charged me and I was like "oh shit" so I just immediately took my pants off...in front of everyone at my regular bar...and started jumping up and down

and he stopped...and was like "wtf?" and then turned around and left.

so I have a few moves to get out of dicey situations

SAUTO 05-26-2013 12:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bo's Pelini (Post 9710531)
When are we going out?
Search my posts. I tried last time I was there. No response.

We hit tomfooleries, then Kelly's then to shark bar, lol, then ended at martini corner.

Oh then some asshole cabby took us to the shady lady. I told him it sucked prior, he told me it was much better.

I guess the underwear and bras did cover up some of the stink
Posted via Mobile Device

Hootie 05-26-2013 12:39 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Branden Albert's Huge Balls (Post 9710542)
Did you ever bang a girl with either move?
no, never

now granted the shirt trick was my ex's FAVORITE move ever and her friends found it hysterical

so I'd do it to them...or if they talked me into doing it to some random I'd do it just because at worst...I'd get kicked out of the bar and I'd still get to bang my then girlfriend.

well actually at worst I probably could have been arrested because I'm sure that can be construed as assault

Mr. Flopnuts 05-26-2013 12:40 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9710547)
Never.

Dude I look like a big guy. I'm a pussy, but I look pretty tough being 6'3" and 200 lbs.

also

my friends are just ****ing massive

but I have made many a boyfriend really mad

and when they approach me I immediately try and touch their penis or tell them how strong I think they are and start petting them

I've learned this makes them really mad.

or one time this guy charged me and I was like "oh shit" so I just immediately took my pants off...in front of everyone at my regular bar...and started jumping up and down

and he stopped...and was like "wtf?" and then turned around and left.

so I have a few moves to get out of dicey situations
ROFL ROFL ROFL My ****ing God. I'm dying. I had some CRAZY ****ing friends when I was younger. You? I want to go drinking with you now.

Hootie 05-26-2013 12:41 PM
the best is when they get all super aggressive with me

and I'll be like..."I'll suck your dick!"

or "I suck dick!" Just a general statement of sucking dick.

and for some reason they find that just INFURIATING

my friends will be like

"jesus dude that guy got mad at you because you told him you suck dick."

I make fun of myself, and they want to fight me.

It's fascinating.

ThaVirus 05-26-2013 12:42 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9710547)
Never.

Dude I look like a big guy. I'm a pussy, but I look pretty tough being 6'3" and 200 lbs.

also

my friends are just ****ing massive

but I have made many a boyfriend really mad

and when they approach me I immediately try and touch their penis or tell them how strong I think they are and start petting them

I've learned this makes them really mad.

or one time this guy charged me and I was like "oh shit" so I just immediately took my pants off...in front of everyone at my regular bar...and started jumping up and down

and he stopped...and was like "wtf?" and then turned around and left.

so I have a few moves to get out of dicey situations
LMAO

Titty Meat 05-26-2013 12:43 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by JASONSAUTO (Post 9710549)
Search my posts. I tried last time I was there. No response.

We hit tomfooleries, then Kelly's then to shark bar, lol, then ended at martini corner.

Oh then some asshole cabby took us to the shady lady. I told him it sucked prior, he told me it was much better.

I guess the underwear and bras did cover up some of the stink
Posted via Mobile Device
Lmao. All Missouri strip clubs suck now you have to hit up Lawrence to get your moneys worth.

Shoot me a pm next time you're in town.

ThaVirus 05-26-2013 12:44 PM
I sometimes wonder if you're actually this... Well... Um.. I-don't-even-know-if-the-word-exists, in real life. In my 23 years I've never met someone so juvenile and it just makes me wonder..

But you're stories are always so consistent. Must be true.

SAUTO 05-26-2013 12:46 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bo's Pelini (Post 9710561)
Lmao. All Missouri strip clubs suck now you have to hit up Lawrence to get your moneys worth.

Shoot me a pm next time you're in town.
Will do. I ain't riding to Lawrence after getting smashed though.

Ill just go back to my room and ride the missus.
Posted via Mobile Device

-King- 05-26-2013 12:58 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9710547)
Never.

Dude I look like a big guy. I'm a pussy, but I look pretty tough being 6'3" and 200 lbs.

also

my friends are just ****ing massive

but I have made many a boyfriend really mad

and when they approach me I immediately try and touch their penis or tell them how strong I think they are and start petting them

I've learned this makes them really mad.

or one time this guy charged me and I was like "oh shit" so I just immediately took my pants off...in front of everyone at my regular bar...and started jumping up and down

and he stopped...and was like "wtf?" and then turned around and left.

so I have a few moves to get out of dicey situations
LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO LMAO I'm in tears laughing so hard. Wtf man?

lewdog 05-26-2013 01:01 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9710547)
but I look pretty tough being 6'3" and 200 lbs.
Sounds like you look like a string bean pussy being that tall and that light.

Good thing people probably see how ****ing crazy you are within seconds of meeting you or your ass would be beaten into a bloody pulp on a consistent basis.


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