ChiefsPlanet - The list of 85 by Roastmaster Saul Good. And hey, it's actually saul good.

Holy shit. Me and Hootie aren't that different.

I was ****ing a chick with HPV so I'm sure I have/had that shit (but everyone does so who gives a shit) and I once had gonorrhea.

LMAO

This is sad.

Don't 1 out of 2 chicks have it? I'm pretty sure we all have it bruh

Direckshun

05-26-2013 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9710475)

dude I'm not an asshole

and besides, I rarely remember evening pounding sessions...sometimes if I'm lucky I'll remember a highlight like "whoa that girl let me do this!"

so mornings is where I get to have my emotional, sensual poundings

Yes, if there are words I wish to associate with poundings, it's "emotional" and "sensual."

Hootie

05-26-2013 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Direckshun (Post 9710487)

Yes, if there are words I wish to associate with poundings, it's "emotional" and "sensual."

sometimes with my ex she wouldn't let me pound her in the AM and she'd have to go to class

and I'd be like "ok I'm gonna jerk it in your room"

and she was like "fine whatever just lock the door so my roommates don't come in"

so I'd leave the kleenex on her pillow and go home

she didn't really like that so much

Direckshun

05-26-2013 12:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9710484)

well she wouldn't let me

this is the same girl where I discovered the nuva ring

after her chlamydia cleared up

we were at my place...drunk

we both knew it was time to consumate our love

so I was, you know...drunk...so foreplay is out the window...I'm gonna finger that hole wet and then hit it with my pummel stick, figuratively speaking

so I go down there with my two thickest fingers of course...and as I'm inside I'm like "wtf?"

so I pull something out...granted this is 6 years ago and I'm super confused...it felt like a cock ring

so I slip it out of there...and look at it, look at her

and then it goes right in my mouth

and I stare at her

and she's says...

"get that out of your mouth right now!"

and I'm like...oooook, what is it?!?

and she's like "my nuva ring"

at that point I just stfu and went to pound town

next day...wikipedia: nuva ring

I was like..."ooooooh, cool"

ROFL

ROFL

ROFL

ROFL

Hammock Parties

05-26-2013 12:12 PM

Sensual Poundings

Hootie

05-26-2013 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Direckshun (Post 9710489)

ROFL

ROFL

ROFL

ROFL

like I said

when she brushed it off and was like "it's my nuva ring..." like I was supposed to know what the **** that was

Direckshun

05-26-2013 12:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Branden Albert's Huge Balls (Post 9710490)

Sensual Poundings

Fantasy football team name.

Emotional, Sensual Poundings

ThaVirus

05-26-2013 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bo's Pelini (Post 9710486)

Don't 1 out of 2 chicks have it? I'm pretty sure we all have it bruh

I'm not sure, but that sounds right to me.

It doesn't do shit to guys but it causes like 90% of all cases of cervical cancer in women. So keep on giving the gift, boys!

Dave Lane

05-26-2013 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts (Post 9710442)

unnecessary valtrex LOL

Make it so...

Mr. Flopnuts

05-26-2013 12:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9710484)

ROFL OMFG :Lin: You should write a book. ROFL ROFL ROFL

Hootie

05-26-2013 12:15 PM

all of my friends and I used to destroy a certain bar on football Sundays and I'd call my then girlfriend up and get a ride after the 3 PM games

and I'd just berate her on the phone and my friends would all just be laughing because they couldn't believe the stuff I was saying...

and then the conversation would come to an end

but before she could hang up...I'd be like...HEY

and she'd be like... what?

and I'd go, in a very emotional and soft voice: "I love you." (we had been dating for like a month maybe)

which would crack my friends up

and she'd be like... "click"

Direckshun

05-26-2013 12:16 PM

I'm in a coffee shop laughing my balls off right now.

God damn, Hootie. Just, god damn.

Mr. Flopnuts

05-26-2013 12:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9710488)

ROFL I have to leave. I'm going to pull a muscle.

Hootie

05-26-2013 12:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts (Post 9710496)

ROFL OMFG :Lin: You should write a book. ROFL ROFL ROFL

two of my friends and I went on a KC road trip because I had 3 tickets and we knew we were going to go to Westport that night

and we set 3 goals for our night

we had to:

make out with a girl
get slapped by a girl
and have a girl throw a drink on one of us

so by 1:30 AM I had accomplished the first two

we were all at Kelly's I think...

HUGE CROWD OF PEOPLE

and I don't know what the **** I said to this girl...but at about 1:45 AM all of the sudden I was talking to my friend Andy and WHAM...the girl showers me (and about 10 other people) with her massive beer...

and we looked at each other

and just started ****ing laughing hysterically

it was the perfect moment

Hootie

05-26-2013 12:19 PM

that's got to be a horrible feeling for a girl

you're so mad...and the only way you can relieve this anger is to throw your drink on someone

so you muster up the courage...hoping for a reaction

you throw your drink on this asshole guy

and what does he do?

start laughing hysterically and high fiving his friends

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