There's a lot more material on her, but it's deeply personal, and I didn't have the heart to bring all the heat because I know her personally, and know for a fact she'll take what was already said far too personally, the rest may have pushed her over some edge.

Understandable, man.

On another note, you're a good dude, plenty of funny in other arenas, I just think the roasts are not your strong suit. But whatev, who gives a shit what I think? I also think Saul's Bob Dole roast was the worst one he's churned out yet. But it was still better than your 2nd Hootie roast. Don't shoot the messenger. :shrug:

Catching up:

1. Rico, rico, rico. Don't let these guys discourage you. Yeah, try #2 was still a little long, but I think that if you do it one more time you can nail it. This time, try to keep it under 200 words. Don't try to compete with Saul Good, he's a master. Just try to post something that everyone will read with one or two decent jokes in it. You might think about asking seclark to help you edit it.

2. Saul Good's roasts can't be touched, but I like the way others are giving it a go.

3. I was away this afternoon working on a rico-length indictment of Phobia for capricious acts of moderation based on personal bias, but when I got back I found that he's already made the case for me. TL;DR=Thanks Phobia.

Also, she's a roller derby chick, she can probably beat the **** out of you. :$2500:

I applaud Rico's effort because that is a shit load to type, but it simply isn't funny. Reading that whole Grapes of Wrath length post and trying to find the funny reminds me of going to a comedy club and the comedian is awful. It's uncomfortable for everyone and the few laughs and applause are forced and born out of pity. I haven't attempted a roast so I feel a little prickish criticizing Rico's efforts, but damn.

What's the point of a countdown when multiple people are doing the roast?

And you still got voted the "King of the N00bs" that year by the vets.

Writing stories is more up my alley. I've actually had moderate success with that in the past....some crazy good breaks and some really shitty ones.

Roasting isn't my thing, but I do think some things did get lost in the verbiage on this one...which is fine, it's my "shtick," I guess. And the "H words" at the end...I don't care if anyone liked them or not, I straight up had fun coming up with them. Therefore it wasn't a bad dealio for me...I had fun.

Meh, I'm not discouraged. Definitely not trying to compete with Saul Good. He's got his own style going on, and it's working...type of stuff that no one, but Saul Good can come up with. It's unique, original and very creative...I've never really read/witnessed anyone with his exact style of generating humor, which is a huge compliment.

WTH? Hootie is banned again. ROFL

What did he do this time?

Because it's funny?

Fair enough.

I'm still not ashamed of this one. In retrospect, I don't like the entire Dallas to Champagne shit...but nothing any of you people say are going to make me feel generally ashamed about this one.

Never be ashamed of anything you put an honest effort into. Trying, failing, and learning from those failures is what separates the Rico's from the Hootie's of the world. Keep on keepin on, brother.

If it was truly shameful, I wouldn't have made any criticism at all. I would've watched the train derail, and put my head down until I got home.

Rico is the energy guy. He's not the star of the show. He may lack the pure talent, but he gets by on his heart. Riles up the crowd for when the real talent comes in.

What I'm saying is...he's kind of my fluffer.