There have been some real gems dug up in this thread. ROFL

No way Dave. No. Way. Alex won us a playoff game last year. Single handedly. Unfortunately the defense threw it away, but without a shadow of a doubt Alex went out and beat the **** out of the Colts AFTER losing the workhorse of the entire offense right out of the chute. He is a HUGE upgrade from Matt Cassel. Huge.

He's also the reason this team has played way above their heads in Denver, and again in Miami. I'm not a retread guy. Never have been. I have been beating the draft a 1st round quarterback as long as anybody.

Alex is a quarterback. Casshole was a ****ing imposter from jump street that was a ****ing backup in college. A 1st overall pick compared to a 7th round fart in the wind. Were they both over drafted? Sure, but it's still a night and day difference.

Dave just got told.

But but but; Alex sucks! Whatever..... Like Brady, Payton, or Rodgers never had bad games. Oh wait, they're all doing worse in stats then they did last year! :eek:

Well there isn't much of an influx. There are like three of us. I'm pretty much the only one from the original influx.

LMAO

Yeah, thanks for all you've done. Everyone can see you're obviously an integral part of this project.

LMAO

Amazing.

I just restored the post he deleted on the last page. Go read it. It was gold!

Lolololololol.

Holy shit, you actually think you're contributing something here.

SNR, just quit writing these roasts. I'm sure this thread won't die an awful and embarrassing death if PGM takes over the sole roasting duties from here on out.

I'm sure PGM was a bottle and a half of Boone's Farm in when he decided to post and delete that gem; but **** me...

Is that a real thought that bounced around in your head PGM? Please tell me that was just an awful troll attempt that you rescinded, and not a legitimate feeling you have regarding this thread.

No, don't stop roasting! We all enjoy reading them. Don't let PGM's PMS (name change candidate?) trick you into quitting.

Keep up the roasts!

Also, mods, can you change PGM to PMS?

The package is somewhat shinier, but the numbers, rankings, and end results have the same sweet stink in the end.


http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/attac...1&d=1411737078

??????

Oh my god, this is amazing.

FLOPNUTS DELIVERS

Neckbone is just a pawn in Denver's offense.

****ing tequila ROFL

Well we wouldn't have any of this if I didn't come up with the idea that part is true. Snr is gold at this....Pablo on the other hand is a worthless turd. OMG guise looky ther at peegeem!!

You are a real pal

I have asked for that before. Besides snr knows what's up. Private Messages are pretty cool things. Burst level 100 achieved.

1. SNR

<iframe src="//giphy.com/embed/79FShc5HlyQW4" width="500" height="500" frameBorder="0" webkitAllowFullScreen mozallowfullscreen allowFullScreen></iframe>

I need you to listen up, my friend. And I need you to listen up good.

Take a moment to put down your World's Greatest Music Teacher coffee mug. For once in your life, stop teaching some wayward, impressionable youth that singing falsetto isn't gay, and pay attention to me.

You are a pawn.

This whole time, you thought you were the one in control. You thought that because you happened to be driving the entirety of the creative momentum in this thread, that you mattered in the grand scheme of things. That your efforts somehow elevated your standing among Those In Power.

You were wrong, mother****er. You were ****ing wrong.

It turns out, in a M. Night Shamylanian twist, that you were being used like a two dollar whore this whole time. PGM personally sought to it that every crevice of your creative id was penetrated for our pure pleasure. We were never laughing with you, asshole. We were laughing at you.

Doesn't that just encapsulate your life, now that you think about it? All this time, pouring immense amounts of hard work for no discernible gain, and doing it because you thought we would all enjoy it? Could you be that big of a fool?

Possibly. I wouldn't put it past a guy with a Terrance Copper fetish. Hell, I'm sure PGM was pulling those strings too, somehow. Because he's just that good. And you're just that much of a tool.

You're starting to realize it, aren't you. Do you feel used?

Do you feel like PGM has attached invisible strings to your elbows and fingertips, manipulating you like a marionette? Well you're not wrong, but you're still far from the truth. You are, in fact, a pawn of PGM's ingenius manipulation, but because it's PGM, he is actually controlling you in the gayest way possible: his arm is buried up your ass to the elbow, and he is making you say his dirty words while he drinks a glass of water. Everybody applauds, and you get to go back in the toybox thinking you're a real boy.

I sincerely hope this isn't ****ing with your head too bad. Try sticking a thumbtack in your neck to assure yourself that you can still feel. Just don't use anything larger or greater, because this country's healthcare system is ****ing ****ed up.

Who the hell tries to turn a NECESSARY system of care that you NEED to SURVIVE into a free market boondoggle? All we end up doing is PAYING for services WE HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO REQUIRE FOR OUR CONTINUED EXISTENCE.

For instance, let's just say something is having a ****ing baby. Congratulations asshole, now you have to pay $900 before the baby is born, and then likely have another $1000 pay for the hospital stay afterwards. Why? Because you got pregnant. Forget that it's actually a NECESSARY SERVICE FOR THE CONTINUED EXISTENCE OF THE HUMAN RACE. IT COSTS THOUSANDS, SO PAY THE **** UP.

This is why we should just do single payer. Single payer would give poor people better treatment, and save everybody else money -- except of course for the fortunate wealthy, who will STILL continue to have a higher quality of life but are going to be thuper therial that they can't bid on an antique umbrella holder at that auction next week.

Goddamn it. Just god ****ing damn it. I ****ing told rico this would ****ing happen.

**** it. Just ****ing **** it.

Nice ROFL

At the Great American Bash loochy you and I will go one on one...In a STEEL CAGE

I lost my shit on this paragraph. That last sentence was insanely funny.

Sweet

List over after reading number 1.

The OP is way behind

It was gold. Pure gold.

Denial is not just in Egypt. I love you Flop but you be wrong. Look at their lifetime stats. They are virtually identical.

Get the **** out of here with that bullshit QB argument.

:thumb: "The People's Mod"

LMAO I love you bro, but I HAD to restore that. It was way too golden to not allow people to enjoy! And you ****ing know it!

ROFL Don't get all butthurt dude. I did it all for the lulz, and you should be lulzing too.

It would appear I made the top 34. Right? Right???

I mean, it's the only reason I can think of for my absence from the list.

Honestly, and it's the first and last time I'm going to do it...my hope is dying...but I'm gonna delete this and blame it on the tequila later.

:( Yeah, it's my fault. I'mma exit stage left meow.

I've got to run, but I'm gonna enjoy this when I get back!

Just so you guys all know, I'm not butthurt by this at all.

Thought that was worth mentioning.

I've no reason to doubt you, for you have said it out loud.

A+ for effort, but a roast of SNR should include more references to teaching, Star Trek and rape.

I move that this roast be struck from the record.

It was more of an elaborate insult to PGM.

Well, great artists are always appreciated after they die, so maybe if you kill yourself this roast will be better.

LMAO

I thought it was freaking hilarious. The other day, D-shun made a comment that was something along the lines of, "I have tried roasting before, but I don't think I'm very good at it because it always ends up becoming some long-winded rant about the healthcare system."

When I saw that he wrote a long roast of SNR today, my first thought was, "I wonder if he will make a comment about our health care system...?" Sure enough, he concluded with an entire rant about it. LMAO It cracked me up.

Rico: Explaining Out Loud The Subtexts Of Jokes To Make Sure Everyone Got It, since 2011

What Direckshun is doing here is elaborating on something everyone already knows already for the sake of comedic value.

Problem is he just isn't ****ing good at it.

LMAO

LMAO I thought it was funny. He pointed out something I am inadvertently inclined to do, BUT didn't leave it at that...he included the year 2011. Which isn't just any random year, but the year I joined CP. I bet it's funnier to y'all now that you've caught that, eh? Ehh???

It was funny as all hell.

it was good. You should be a bit higher in the list.

This thread dropped to the 10th page.

THE 10th PAGE!

I'm not going to compete with the Royals games. So I'll try to squeeze one in tonight.

Even if you don't roast, keep this thing bumped to the first page

He would've asked PGM, but you're the pawn here SNR. You're the pawn.

OP still isn't updated.

Enjoyed a chiefs win, followed by an epic baseball game, was going to update the OP, but you had to smart off at me about it, so now I'm not going to. /PMS I mean PGM

28. Bearcat

http://scottriggan.info/wp-content/u...wookie-win.jpg

You know who's a really cool guy?

Slayer Diabolo. You remember that guy? I sure ****ing remember that guy.

For those who need a reminder, I was trying to track down the original picture that floated around years and years ago of his creepy virgin grin, pointed nose, and forming widow's peak at the tender age of 15. All I got through Google was this photoshop from a previous thread, which will have to do.

http://i143.photobucket.com/albums/r...ayerPayne2.jpg

I always felt bad that we gave him so much shit just for being a teenager, as if none of us were ever moody douchebaggy Holden Caulfields at any point in our teenage years. Slayer certainly was a rebel without a cause... only without the cool car and the ladies. We seemed to have this obsession with making his forum life miserable, which is disappointing because I think we were only doing it to make up for all the douchebaggery we brought into the world when we were his age.

But I think a positive to take away from all of this is that Slayer nevertheless kept his cool through all the ribbings. He wanted to be a doctor or something like that? I have no doubt if that's what he really wanted to do after his high school career finished, he probably made it happen. Smart guy. Well, smarter than about 60% of the people who post here, anyway.

Anybody know if he has any family? A brother or something like that? He seemed like a loved individual and probably had a great older brother to get him as far as he did in life while he was presiding over his proud post as a Chiefs Planet star.

To Slayer Diabolo!

awww

group hug

just remember all of you are my older brother

The picture is a really important clue to the joke with this one.

It's subtle and not very funny, but I thought it was creative, so **** you.

I know it's funny, I'm just waiting for Rico to explain why.....

Bearcat is a tough roast. What is there? THAT GUY IS LEVEL HEADED AND LIKES HOCKEY!!!

Too many epic sport events going on!! Then I was abducted by midget aliens.

:shrug: Well I don't get it. All I could find with a quick Google was that weird picture posted in a noswad/gracie dean thread about her cat. That thread didn't explain the inside joke either. I'm lost. I guess I'm just too noobtacular.

Bearcat is Slayer's older brother. Despite being the older brother and having a much longer and more productive message board existence, Bearcat will always live in his goofy, dweeby younger brother's virtual shadow and be defined here by his existence because Slayer is a CP legend of ineptitude.

That's my take on it at least.

/rico

:) I wouldn't be able to, even if I felt the need to. I think I am too n00btritious to know anything about Diabolo or Bearcat. Is Diabolo Bearcat's brother???

Yes

Classic Slayer thread:

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=62565

(Slayer had his name changed to "ThePedestrian")

Heh, this is the photoshop thread with grandllama's work...

http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showthread.php?t=87051

ROFL I wish I could claim that name change!

Holy shit! LMAO

Bearcat is slayer?

Edit saw the explanation.

OP's not updated.

That just makes it better. I am curious, though, if Slayer evolved into a adequately normal human being as he aged. I mean.. he's got to be like 25 or so now.

He's in law school, so that should answer any questions regarding normalcy.

how many car wrecks has he been involved in?

None that I know of after hitting that poor house.

Hell no it doesn't...

although a house counts as about 7 cars

27. BigRedChief

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-rg7ByXgkUZ...ild+turkey.jpg

BigRedChief seems nice. Actually from Planeteer reports he IS nice.

That's why it always seemed bizarre as shit that THIS guy was the ****ing secret agent.

Stranger things have happened, sure. Baby Lee is a lawyer who watches TV all day. I'm an organist. Discuss Thrower is a super-intelligent hobo with no job. But we're supposed to believe that BigRedChief is actually the asshole who gets to say, "If I told you what my job was, I'd have to kill you"?!

The dude who probably says shit like "hunky-dory" and hangs out with people like gblowfish has a top secret government job? The dude with the ****ing cooler fetish is an actual ****ing James Bond? The guy who grows his popularity on the internet by running "The Academy" has enough power and influence among world leaders to make Dane cream his pants in fear?!

Hey, the Royals are winning playoff games these days. Anything is fair game, I suppose. Maybe he's more Johnny English than he is James Bond. That's gotta be it.

:) would read again. Keep em coming...

Would have liked to have seen a humble brag dig in there.....but still good nonetheless.

This list has officially lost all credibility with selection #27. I understand the dude puts together Chiefs gatherings, and that's wonderful, but the dude is an absolute boring poster. His posts are predictable, boring, mundane, and just the definition of meh. Not to mention the dude is an expert at the humble brag. Shit, half the time he's not even humble about it.

He may be a nice guy, but to have him anywhere near a poster like Direckshun on the list is silly.

Sorry, but that's my two cents.

Jul 2013 shouldn't talk shit on an all time CP legend.

When the list has 2014 in the title, I can make a judgement.

AND I HAD A 2012 ACCOUNT UNTIL I GOT BANNED.