Welll-helllll-heellllllll-hellll.....lemme just go to the bathroom real quick and reach for some Adderall.

Clarence is a notch above muppets though. And I don't want to **** Clarence either.

So you openly admit that you're too lazy to do it at all but you're gonna shit on me for being lazy?

ROFL

Not bad, dudely!!!!

Congrats on the birth of your daughter, bud!!!

"and on the next life goes on: becca falls for a hunk, while corky falls for a dolphin". this may have been the best voice over in the history of sunday nights.

It got some laughs...thats what matters. I dont think it made me popular at all. Just got Hootie super annoyed with me for a while.

You shouldn't have started a roast thread if the roasts were going to be this bad. We're now all boiling in a vat of shit. And we had to wait 3 days for it to boil.

Mmmmmm, feces!

Hell no, I laughed my ass off. I can tell the difference between jokes (the roast) and the hateful ****s that just like to follow me around. Honestly, aside from doxing me, there's not really anything someone could do here to legitimately piss me off. I have three things that really set me off; lying to me (about something meaningful), stealing from me, or ****ing with my family. If you do one of those things to me then you should fear for your safety. Aside from that, I honestly don't give a shit.

Also, I do troll a certain style of poster which should be quite clear. I will say that I do have a tendency to go for the jugular though when people come after me. :evil:

You're in quite a troll mood today, aren't ya?

I have avatars turned off so I can browse CP whilst at work.

You're definitely missing out.

I'm just being honest, honey.

Next time you roast someone sit down with it for a good half hour and give it some tender loving care.

HAHAHA!!!

http://www.pulp-and-fiber.com/wp-con...still-0012.jpg

"Damn, that's some good trollin.'"

Yea, I used to leave them on but had someone at my last job say something about someone's ass avatar so I turned them off.

Then why the **** do you keep perusing the thread? Move the **** on.

I'm doing them while working 15+ hours a day on a $50M RFP.

Besides, you're the only person complaining. So STFD and STFU.

Go make another thread about QB dicks.

Oh, I get it... You just simply think I am a muppet ****er...

http://www.bangngangan.com/images/gl...ying_26772.jpg

OK, I promise I'll leave out any reference to ****ing Muppets.

I'm the CP Post Police. Ensuring quality posting when and where it's needed. It's important that we get these traditions right. Imagine if a n00b was reading this thread. He'd think we were a bunch of uncreative, boring ruffians.

So you have 9 hours to create quality roasts? That seems like time aplenty.

You just created a thread about Nick Foles' dick.

I gotta sleep!

I'm trying to save my energy for the Great American Smoke-Out with JASONSAUTO at the end of the month.

We're gonna meet up with OTWP, kidnap Tony's cock, and then head over to shoot off some fireworks with Nzoner and Bob Dole.

I want to enjoy my night in jail, dammit!

I couldn't find tonys cock today, but I saw it yesterday.


I'm hoping it's ok.
Posted via Mobile Device

That was hard news.

ROFL

Hey guyzzz.....we're nearing 1000 posts on this thread. Not bad!!!!

We're averaging 100 posts per entry.

This thing is going over 10,000 easy.

Especially if Zarth keeps using it for his auto-fellatio parties.

I don't envy you this task, however. If you do actually hit the 101 mark, kudos. However, maybe someone like billay or kcnut could contribute a few to improve the quality here and there.

ROFL

OK, you just roasted ME.

Of all the attempts over the years how many have made it past say 20? Any? Seems most give up after 10 or so.

I want in on this action, there's a 75% chance I can keep us all out of jail.....

That's a good question....I think knowing enough about 101 posters on CP to be able to roast them is knowing....well, a shit load about CP posters.

By doing drugs, to fit... I'm too smart for that.

ROFL

No no, im doing all the talking. I got this
Posted via Mobile Device

Hey Rico, has your wife poked out her ear drums yet?

Says the guy who thought he could conceal/carry into Arrowhead...

LMAO

No...I'm not THAT well-endowed to reach her ear drums. And if I were, that'd be disgusting. You have some sick fantasies, Mr. Milkypants.

LMAO

Replace every mention of "Joan Rivers" with "Count Zarth"...

<iframe width="560" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/3W4RmZ-C8cU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

Maybe you are that badly endowed

Wouldn't have to be well endowed, pencil dick.

My roast of rico last year pretty solid

It will happen I just need another roaster. Won't be till after this bad boy is wrapped up.

Yeah...a 5 foot long, sharpened pencil shaped penis could probably poke a girls ear drum out during sex...and I wouldn't consider a penis like that to be well-endowed either. However, I don't have one of those...so my wife's ear drums are safe. Hallelujah!!!!

And there was a homicide that night too.

I've thought about roasting folks in the form of alphabet poems....and you are the first person I have in mind. Be afraid, be very afraid.

Good enough shot to get em from the stands?
Posted via Mobile Device

This isn't math, Chung Lee.....

Holy shit!

Right through the eardrums.

This one will make it past 20, guaranteed.

I have a mission now that I know Clay hates this thread.

It was in the parking lot

I am willing this thing to completion this year. The setup is top notch with the guest listmaker.

You just better hope I don't flip out and pull a Mr. Blond.

I put my faith in YOU don't let me down! :evil:

I need to find my rico roast.

Can we have a hint as to who the list maker is?

That's my point.
Posted via Mobile Device

You can certainly guess. They have chosen to be anonymous however.

That's the hint.


I think I know who it is.
Posted via Mobile Device

Is it a surprise? Someone who, to this point, refused to engage in "popularity contests?"

Where they WANTED me to store my gun (in my bike saddle bag) while I was watching the game, good plan NFL, I'm a ****ing Missouri certified police officer, supposed to carry anyplace except a court house (out of uniform) and now an NFL stadium.

It is not PGM or smaque.

Austin?

Oh got ya.


Was asking if they had let you in with it could you have picked off the perp in the lot from the stands. Pretty good vantage point from the seats. I'm betting you could, but not with your conceal carry gun...
Posted via Mobile Device

No, I sent you my preliminary detective papers in a rep though.

I wouldn't say I hate it. I don't hate McDonalds. But it does leave me feeling unsatisfied and shitty every time.

Well don't just limit that work to CC!

The B E P roast has infiltrated DC. Waiting for reply...

Cool. Sounds like online dating

Response returned via same

Good thing we're not here to satisfy you.

That's why you have posters of Carrie Fisher in your bedroom in your mom's basement...

That Frazod vs. Flop fight seemed like it was at least 1000 posts alone last year...I wonder if any fights like that one will emerge in this thread.

FYP

I was on the fence cc, too.


But it seemed too right.

That thread averaged like 1000 posts a day then flamed out. I have never seen anything like it.

It's possible. I'm guessing a different way, leaning a couple different directions actually.

Smoke

I'll le you know if I see any thing that smells fishy

End of June bro. Gotta be patient.