50. Mr. Flopnuts
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"The People's Mod is the People's Noose"
By BlackBob
I am a concerned citizen of Chiefs Planet, and wish to speak to you today about a problem not many of you realize is tearing apart the fabric of your precious forum. I'm speaking about Mr. Flopnuts, also known to many of you as "the People's Mod."
Understand that I have not been here long, but because I'm just as bad as Mav in terms of acting like I was around for all these important events before I ever joined CP, I have done my research. I have concluded that Mr. Flopnuts, while loyal to his friends, is using his Supermoderator powers as a member of the Drafturbators to institute a totalitarian groupthink society, with him in charge.
Mr. Flopnuts is a wolf in sheep's clothing. He lies about his actions and modding record, and convinces everybody that the lies he spreads are the truth. He makes you happy that he is poaching off your species little by little because he's doing population and conservation control measures. Here's how things got to be this way.
November 14, 2010: Mr. Flopnuts tells a Raiders troll who wants to gloat after a Chiefs loss, "I hope your children are sodomized by a 400 lb man." Flopnuts receives an infraction and a temp ban. He reaches out to Penn Jillette on Facebook asking if he knows the reason why. It's revealed in a thread that morphius, doing his job under heavy pressure, made a quick-thinking judgment call, since Flopnuts' hoodie and bag of skittles seemed threatening. This creates a lens for the public to view and criticize. Flopnuts is released, acts cordial and nice about it, but morphius continues to get lambasted as a victim of his sociopathic lust for power.
Approximately five months later, a public election is held for new additions to the modding staff. Mr. Flopnuts wins overwhelming support after an organized campaign of baby-kissing and sucking up to other members at Chiefs events. Democratically elected, he immediately announces a conservative moderating administration, preferring to let the invisible hand of the market rape whatever trolls are behaving out of line: "Happy to be here. Happy to serve. I'm pretty much just here to clear out graphic porn pics, spam, and the like. Trolls? Well, I'd rather **** with them than ban them, so we'll take that one step at a time."
http://chiefsplanet.com/BB/showpost....1&postcount=51
Believing he can further win favoritism through bread and circuses, he takes a radical pro-tags position, advocating for their traditional return on draft day and beyond. Instantly he is as beloved as DaFace as a mod.
Behind the scenes, Mr. Flopnuts reverts into his real personality. Some sources have told me that Mr. Flopnuts is the kind of person that gets excited about a Drafturbator Fantasy Football Auction League, gets wasted, and then at the beginning of the auction drives up the price of Adrian Peterson just to be a huge asshole. He spends half his money on one player, realizes he's screwed, and then lets the machine autobid for the rest of his players.
He does a good job keeping the streets clean, but then proposes a massive cleanup of the DC Forum by cracking down on the racist comments. I'm not a racist, but I would extend the same rights of somebody to be critical of a group of people as long as they protected by right to think reeruned things about the best players on the Chiefs who are the only ones who legitimately try to win every week. That is a huge concern. Mr. Flopnuts oversteps his bounds constantly. He's a tyrant. He disguises his beatings that he delivers to his children as fun and games.
And how does he justify this? By going back to his protective inner circle cock ring of friends to justify his vote, always maintaining a courteous and respectful tone that makes everybody's vagina tingle with delight.
http://www.chiefsplanet.com/BB/showt...282036&page=22
Because of people like him, a witch hunt forum culture has developed that seeks to persecute free-thinking individuals. I was a victim of the MOB attacks in 2013. Consider for a moment that "MOB" is only one letter away from "Mod." Go back and watch the tape of this thread if you don't believe me.
I'm not beyond using self-deprecating humor and intellectual humility to sway people to my opinions. It just never works for me because I'm really ****ing annoying. That's fine. But when you're a snake in the grass, you can whisper whatever venom you wish into the true people's ear and have them believe that their freedom and sovereignty are not being threatened by the rise of an oligarchical tyranny under Der Flöprer.
Stand with me alongside the other n00bs who find this place sickening and leave forever after 48 hours! Together we can create a Chiefs Planet where utter dumb****s and lunatics aren't insulted for spewing vile garbage everywhere!
