Watching the Barbara Walters pre-Oscar special with the wife.

Michael Douglas and Glenn Close sit down and start talking.

Douglas spreads his legs.

Wife says, "Wow, he's got big balls."

Bad: that she said that, out loud.

Worse: that I was looking at them at the time.

FML. :facepalm:

I just received a call from a lady that must have just smoked a bowl. She was wanting to know how to get rid of glare from a photo w/o scanning it in and using graphic software. I almost told her to use a fuggin' eraser. :evil:

Every now and then, like tonight, I hide in my office and pretend to be busy on the computer so I don't have to talk to people.

I just got a Monday interview with a fantastic organization.

Time to lock this shit down.
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I just farted,and told the wife it as the dog.ROFL

LMAO You ****ing pussy.

This describes me completely <object width="640" height="385"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/NisCkxU544c&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/NisCkxU544c&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="640" height="385"></embed></object>

Other people are highly overrated.

No it was awful and I loved watching her get on the dog for it!ROFL It was EPIC bad!!!:eek: It would have ruined it if I told her it was me.

LMAO That sounds like youtube quality. There's no going back now.

It was.She got all red in the face,looked at me and asked...I said hell no,must be your silly ass dog.She got onto him,and made him go lay in his bed.ROFL.Then bitched about it to me like it was his fault!BWaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa:D

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i think Shakira looks f-ing SMOKING in this video.... (still sounds like crap though)

Some guy in Virginia hit the Powerball in October for $200M. He just came forward to claim if, after five months, because he was "working with financial consultants".

What. The. F**k?

If I hit Powerball for $200M, I wouldn't wait five months. I wouldn't wait five f**king minutes. You could be hit by a bus. You could lose the ticket. You could get itchy ass cancer. What the f**k do you need to consult with a financial advisor for five f**king months about?!? Let's see: 1) spend some, 2) put the rest in a bank for a while. You have the rest of your life to divvy it up and figure out where you're gonna invest it.

Gauging the before and after family reunion

Rugby is on BBC America. Crazy ass shit! Soccer meets NFL meets insanity.