Originally Posted by rico (Post 9770442)

Haha, nahhh... I don't think so...which is pretty much why I don't want to get roasted. Not because I am thin-skinned and can't take it (I think the roast itself would make me laugh), but because I just don't want to deal with all of the inevitable; "what?! rico is a dumbass n00b, he's not top 100," "rico is an attention-whore...not top 100," "rico has to type a freaking book every time he posts, he's annoying, not top 100," etc. It's like...I don't consider myself a top 100 guy and I know there are plenty (the majority) of others who don't, and I just don't feel like reading their comments when I've already thought of their presumed logic myself.

Not to mention, I honestly think it would be hard to do. Maybe I'm crazy for thinking that? Everyone told me when I claimed that Hootie could be roasted that "you can't roast someone who roasts themselves." I didn't really know what that meant until I thought of the potential of myself being roasted...now it does make sense, IMO, for I have pretty much roasted myself. I was an idiot in my attempted roast of Hootie...basically roasted myself with that. I've also acknowledged all of the slams against me and have even elaborated on them... Hell, my signature pokes fun at myself..."tl;dr." Add the fact that I haven't really been around that long and haven't interacted much...kind of a small data set. I think it would be hard to do, honestly.

However, I was pretty impressed that Saul described me as the naive dude who calls out the elephant in the room.... pretty insightful, for my best friend (who knows me extremely well) is the main person who describes me as being that way in real life. Saul's a pretty intelligent/observant dude...maybe it can be done. I puke at the thought of everyone's reactions to it though.

Originally Posted by patteeu (Post 9770467)

Could you elaborate on that?

:)

Originally Posted by rico (Post 9770442)

Haha, nahhh... I don't think so...which is pretty much why I don't want to be roasted. Not because I am thin-skinned and can't take it (I think the roast itself would make me laugh), but because I just don't want to deal with all of the inevitable; "what?! rico is a dumbass n00b, he's not top 100," "rico is an attention-whore...not top 100," "rico has to type a freaking book every time he posts, he's annoying, not top 100," etc. It's like...I don't consider myself a top 100 guy and I know there are plenty (the majority) of others who don't, and I just don't feel like reading their comments when I've already thought of their presumed logic myself.

Not to mention, I honestly think it would be hard to do. Maybe I'm crazy for thinking that? Everyone told me when I claimed that Hootie could be roasted that "you can't roast someone who roasts themselves." I didn't really know what that meant until I thought of the potential of myself being roasted...now it does make sense, IMO, for I have pretty much roasted myself. I was an idiot in my attempted roast of Hootie...basically roasted myself with that. I've also acknowledged all of the slams against me and have even elaborated on them... Hell, my signature pokes fun at myself..."tl;dr." Add the fact that I haven't really been around that long and haven't interacted much...kind of a small data set. I think it would be hard to do, honestly.

However, I was pretty impressed that Saul described me as the naive dude who calls out the elephant in the room.... pretty insightful, for my best friend (who knows me extremely well) is the main person who describes me as being that way in real life. Saul's a pretty intelligent/observant dude...maybe it can be done. I puke at the thought of everyone's reactions to it though.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 9770447)

:) Haha, nawww....patteeu has taken his jabs at me in good fun...all in all, the dude has been extremely friendly to me personally.

Originally Posted by PGM (Post 9770513)

You worry too much what other posters think....off the list. This is my thread still and I could add you in if I wanted to.

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts (Post 9770540)

I can't even think of a mega thread he participates in. I was just trying to get a reaction out of him, and he wouldn't give me the satisfaction. :D

Originally Posted by Thig Lyfe (Post 9770537)

what's up guys

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts (Post 9770540)

I can't even think of a mega thread he participates in. I was just trying to get a reaction out of him, and he wouldn't give me the satisfaction. :D

Originally Posted by Thig Lyfe (Post 9770537)

what's up guys

Originally Posted by rico (Post 9770542)

:) Yes and no. Depends on the poster. Depends on the validity/tone of their comments and their online persona for that matter.. For the most part, I'm able to let shit bounce off.

Are you threatening to roast me, Mr. PGM? PGM, the pot-stirrer, is going to lose the vag and roast someone himself?!?!?! Wut, wut????? :p

Originally Posted by Saul Good (Post 9765135)

77. Phobia

Phil is a legend in his own mind. He has this peculiar habit of bragging over things that nobody else on the face of the earth even cares about. I swear to Christ, P, nobody gives a shit that you once called Trent Green "TrINT Green" 12 years ago. It was funny enough to generate a 44 post thread. Congratulations. Why is that throw-away of a thread in the ****ing Hall of Classics? Is that really a classic thread? In Phil mother****ing Kloster's head? Yes. To anybody else in the world? Hardly.

Phobia is the kind of guy who will only befriend people who are a rung below him in status. If you make more money than him...are smarter than him...have a better goatee than him...drive a faster Camaro than him, etc., he's going to run you off. You see, the most important thing to Phil is to surround himself with people who admire him. That makes him feel important. By weeding the successful people out of his circle, he gets to wax poetic about how he "only drinks the finest domestic macro brews" without getting called on his bullshit.

Everyone knows a guy like this. He's the guy who has his buddies over for beers so he can "big time" them. He'll make a big show about how generous he is with his beer. Then, he'll come out with a frosted mug for himself. "Nothing beats a cold one after a softball double-header, right guys? Feel free to drink my beer, but only the big guy gets the frosty mug. You guys can fight over who gets the koozie." He's also the guy who takes the extra base and slides in beer league softball games.

So that's pretty much phobia. He'll read this and pretend that he thinks it's sort of funny (but could be better if...). He may even poke a little fun at himself just to show how self-deprecating he can be. He doesn't think it's funny, though. He's WAY funnier than me. Don't believe him? Just ask any of the slightly older, slightly fatter, slightly less successful friends, and they'll back him up.

Pros: If frazod really wants to live in someone's head, phobia is the one guy who might be able to squeeze his fat ass in. Didn't really rip off a customer like billay said he did on his Facebook page.

Cons: Has a bizarre goatee size to face size ratio. Isn't a goatee supposed to at least be wider than your lips? Talks about how good he is at eating pussy to anyone who will listen...That must be a "thing" for middle aged dudes with beer guts and goatees because he's not the only one who does that, but it just creeps me the **** out.

Outlook for 2014: Bans hootie for no good reason...2,000 post threads fighting about it litter the front page for weeks...hootie comes back...sun rises, sun sets

Originally Posted by rico (Post 9770542)

:) Yes and no. Depends on the poster. Depends on the validity/tone of their comments and their online persona for that matter.. For the most part, I'm able to let shit bounce off.

Are you threatening to roast me, Mr. PGM? PGM, the pot-stirrer, is going to lose the vag and roast someone himself?!?!?! Wut, wut????? :p

Originally Posted by rico (Post 9770551)

THIG LIFE EN LA HIZOUSO!!!!



LMAO, you like to razz him, don't ya? I kind of caught on to that when I saw your first post in the "post a picture of what you think CP users look like in real life" thread.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 9770551)

THIG LIFE EN LA HIZOUSO!!!!



LMAO, you like to razz him, don't ya? I kind of caught on to that when I saw your first post in the "post a picture of what you think CP users look like in real life" thread.

Originally Posted by patteeu (Post 9770587)

I can't even remember what was going on when he started that thread. I forgot that I was the headliner in it until I clicked on it yesterday.

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts (Post 9770599)

ROFL I don't either. I just remember thinking it was ****ing brilliant when I posted it. I'm easily amused though. :)

Originally Posted by PGM (Post 9770567)

I've got another thread to get going once this hits 10K, so I really won't have time to do any roastings.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 9770640)

Ex-kee-uusess, Ex-kee-uusess.

Originally Posted by PGM (Post 9770642)

Did I fail to mention the binge drinking and pounding sessions too?

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9770710)

I think I may dust off the old roasting shoes and get a roast in today.

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9770710)

I think I may dust off the old roasting shoes and get a roast in today.

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9770710)

I think I may dust off the old roasting shoes and get a roast in today.

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9770730)

blaise if I knew anything about you whatsoever I'd roast you right now

but you've been here for 6 years and have left no impression on me at all

that's not good, that's not bad

just no material for irrelevancy

Originally Posted by Brock (Post 9770732)

Sorry, dude. This turned into a man's game after you petered out.

Originally Posted by blaise (Post 9770733)

You don't need material. Just paraphrase your other roasts and say I'm gay and fat or fat and gay, or gay and almost as fat as fraz, or twice as fat as fraz but only half as gay.

I mean, that's it, right? That's what your roast is going to be isn't it?

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9770739)

why don't you do one?

not creative enough?

now HERE is a guy I think I can roast

Originally Posted by Brock (Post 9770745)

Honestly, don't waste your time. I'll wait my turn with the first string.

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts (Post 9770581)

If you're going to put yourself out there the way you do, you had better learn to not give 1 single **** what anyone on this board thinks about anything. Because you're leaving yourself wide open. Anyone who is willing to do that, is one of the good guys in my books. Oftentimes they are also the ones who get hurt the most, because they had the balls to come on here and be real.

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9770750)

I don't think he's doing them anymore.

So I guess you're stuck with me.

Better than Rico, I suppose.

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts (Post 9770581)

If you're going to put yourself out there the way you do, you had better learn to not give 1 single **** what anyone on this board thinks about anything. Because you're leaving yourself wide open. Anyone who is willing to do that, is one of the good guys in my books. Oftentimes they are also the ones who get hurt the most, because they had the balls to come on here and be real.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 9770777)

Haha, I'm a big boy. Generally speaking, I can take whatever is dished at me. I can take it better than I may lead on, I think.

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9770750)

I don't think he's doing them anymore.

So I guess you're stuck with me.

Better than Rico, I suppose.

Originally Posted by Saul Good (Post 9771343)

I'll do some more soon. Maybe tomorrow...

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9771348)

I used that line, too.

After you get through the gimmies it just isn't fun anymore. We should just feed each other a name and then rotate. I was going to do one tonight and not even include a number and then I lost interest and watched Titanic.

Originally Posted by TimBone (Post 9771455)

Saul, at the very least can we get the roast of Hootie that you mentioned?

Originally Posted by TimBone (Post 9771455)

Saul, at the very least can we get the roast of Hootie that you mentioned?

Originally Posted by rico (Post 9771572)

Note: I think the idea that a lot of you have of a "roast" is that it isn't successful unless the roasted is butt-hurt as a result of it. Butt-hurt isn't my intention(s). I'm just going to have fun and try to come up with whatever gags I can.

Originally Posted by TimBone (Post 9771633)

I could have swore you mentioned you had a good one lined up for Hootie. I could definitely be mistaken though.

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts (Post 9771706)

Oh FFS, you guys make it out like this is the toughest ****ing thing to do. I'm going to bed, and I have a long day at work tomorrow, but I'm off Tuesday. Someone is getting ****ing slayed on Tuesday. Book it.

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts (Post 9771706)

Oh FFS, you guys make it out like this is the toughest ****ing thing to do. I'm going to bed, and I have a long day at work tomorrow, but I'm off Tuesday. Someone is getting ****ing slayed on Tuesday. Book it.

Originally Posted by BigRedChief (Post 9771705)

Has anyone been butt-hurt? I thought they said there had not even been any neg rep?

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts (Post 9771717)

Heh, I just figured out who it's going to be as well. She would be higher on the list had she not slowed way down on her posting, and not developed such a negative view towards the board in the last year or two. Tuesday, we're going to roast the Springfield get togethers! Unless of course, someone steals it from me first.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 9771824)

Haha, nice.

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts (Post 9771717)

Heh, I just figured out who it's going to be as well. She would be higher on the list had she not slowed way down on her posting, and not developed such a negative view towards the board in the last year or two. Tuesday, we're going to roast the Springfield get togethers! Unless of course, someone steals it from me first.

Originally Posted by Mr. Flopnuts (Post 9771717)

Heh, I just figured out who it's going to be as well. She would be higher on the list had she not slowed way down on her posting, and not developed such a negative view towards the board in the last year or two. Tuesday, we're going to roast the Springfield get togethers! Unless of course, someone steals it from me first.

Originally Posted by Dinny Blues (Post 9772075)

A Springfield get together???? Cool!!!

Here's a picture of my ass.

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9769791)

because I broke a $14 table at my ex's house?

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9769797)

I have a hard time believing you guys didn't watch that youtube video and at least have ONE chuckle

My God. Lighten up.

Originally Posted by tooge (Post 9772131)

yeah, no shit. Wanna hear a funny college story Hootie? When I was in college and any of us saw some dipshit that acted like that, one of us generally knocked his ass out and drew dick and balls all over his face with a permanent marker.

Originally Posted by tooge (Post 9772131)

yeah, no shit. Wanna hear a funny college story Hootie? When I was in college and any of us saw some dipshit that acted like that, one of us generally knocked his ass out and drew dick and balls all over his face with a permanent marker.

Originally Posted by tooge (Post 9772131)

yeah, no shit. Wanna hear a funny college story Hootie? When I was in college and any of us saw some dipshit that acted like that, one of us generally knocked his ass out and drew dick and balls all over his face with a permanent marker.

Originally Posted by rico (Post 9770268)

Golly, golly, my #3000 is going to be posted in this thread.

.

Originally Posted by frazod (Post 9772167)

It's not like I never broke or ****ed stuff up when drunk - I caused my share of damage back in the day. The worst thing I ever did was crawl over the top of my best friend's dad's restored '55 Chevy - leaving scratches from my class ring, watch and belt buckle from the hood to the trunk (and I still hear about it, too, over 30 years later). I've fallen and knocked shit over, puked in bad places, set a couple of things on fire with wayward cigarettes, but never deliberately.

All the trunken escapades I've been through from high school to the Navy and beyond, I've never seen anybody intentionally destroy something like that. I guess I just got wasted with a better class of people.

Originally Posted by DaKCMan AP (Post 9772185)

DaKCMan AP - didn't get the 'humor'.

Originally Posted by Donger (Post 9772199)

I watched the video, and I thought it was hilarious. I actually got a cramp from laughing so hard.

Originally Posted by DaKCMan AP (Post 9772209)

Do you laugh or chuckle?

Originally Posted by DaKCMan AP (Post 9772209)

Do you laugh or chuckle?

Originally Posted by Saul Good (Post 9772196)

You've never seen anyone intentionally destroy something while drunk? Didn't you shoot a ****ing refrigerator?

I didn't find the video funny (might have been funny if I had been there drunk), but I've seen a hell of a lot more damage than a particle board table getting smashed.

Originally Posted by Saul Good (Post 9772196)

You've never seen anyone intentionally destroy something while drunk? Didn't you shoot a ****ing refrigerator?

I didn't find the video funny (might have been funny if I had been there drunk), but I've seen a hell of a lot more damage than a particle board table getting smashed.

Originally Posted by Donger (Post 9772212)

Full belly laugh.

Originally Posted by Donger (Post 9772212)

Full belly laugh.

Originally Posted by unnecessary drama (Post 9769679)

they had a party house

all girls

it was a keg every day

I literally lived like I was 20 all over again for 3 months when I moved back to Champaign from Dallas

I miss it...there is a funny youtube video of me eviscerating a table in their living room, and then using the leg of the table like a big black penis, and her like grabbing my arm to try and calm me down while everyone was laughing, and me like swatting her away

maybe I can find it

Originally Posted by loochy (Post 9772220)

i didnt know british people laughed

Originally Posted by loochy (Post 9772220)

i didnt know british people laughed

Originally Posted by Donger (Post 9772224)

I'm not British.

Originally Posted by Dayze (Post 9772227)

Originally Posted by loochy (Post 9772229)

lemon meringue pie is delicious!

Originally Posted by DaKCMan AP (Post 9772235)

Or as Donger the Brit would say, "Scrumptious!"